Don't close the door that can open your mind

"...it's not a Museum for good people, it's a hospital for the broken."

My husband took a very brave, very personal, and very thought out step yesterday, and it will have consequences on his relationship with some members of his family that he loves very much. I am worried about this, not because of his decision, but because of how he will hurt because of their reactions.

"...the son of God never supported self-righteousness, not now, not then."

I take a very deep breath before I write my blog. I try to write exactly what I mean to say, so as to be very clear as to my meaning, my thoughts, my intent of expression. I don't want anyone reading and going, "what exactly does she mean by that?". Most of the time, people have said that I am very blunt, too honest, too quick to say what is on my mind, and I don't apologize for that. For many years, I wasn't allowed to speak, or to have an opinion, and then once I found my strength, I couldn't stop my voice from screaming through, trying to make up for lost years of desperation, isolation, loneliness, fear, and loathing of those that seemed to adore pushing me around. I had questions, so many questions, and when your not allowed to ask questions, your frustration level multiplies. I also never understood what exactly was wrong with asking questions. Why is this such a bad thing? Then, upon achieving my level of voice and independence, I discovered that questions bring about answers. Answers bring about knowledge. Knowledge brings about enlightenment. Know what happens next? Those that told you to shut up and be quiet...loose all of THEIR voice, their power, their control.

”I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being ‘Christian’ or to being part of Christianity. It’s simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen.”


Anne Rice

So, I was raised, well, no, wrong explanation. I was baptized, then dropped of for years to attend mass and CCD as a child. This is Catholicism. Most just participate now because that's what their parents did, and so, they do. The younger generation doesn't keep up with 90% of the Catholic beliefs or traditions anymore. My parents never attended church with us. The first time I recall being in church with my parents was at the funeral of my Grandmother Mills. My father was a nervous wreck, and my mother was plotting and planning the entire time. Churches always have made my father break out in a furious panic attack. He couldn't even attend my brothers wedding in Colorado without first throwing back a few 7 & 7's at the hotel. He was especially upset that the reception was going to be alcohol free, due to my sister-in-laws family and their religious views. This was, and is, hilarious to me. No alcohol to drink at a wedding, but wine is prevalent throughout the Bible. Jesus turned water "into wine", but drinking is a sin? Sigh...mass hypocrisy is a muck in organized religion. I always got into trouble for saying things like this, and continue to do so. Every Catholic mass that anyone attends there is a part where you receive the "body of Christ" which is a very dry wafer that you place on your tongue and allow to dissolve. In extensive service, or say, funerals or weddings, you also receive the "blood of Christ" and it is wine. You take a tiny sip from a chalice, and it is usually a cheap red wine, but still. This is still hilarious to me, because many churches have adopted this practice, and most religions say that alcohol is a sin. Make up your mind people. They preach that you are to be kind and forgiving, yet also preach that non-believers and "sinners" such as drug dealers, prostitutes, alcoholics, abusers, etc, will all certainly go to hell. Jesus befriended such people. He did not abandon them, he did not turn his back and banish them, mock them, hate them. Organized religion lost its way years and years ago, and according to today's standards and rules, would not even allow a person such as Jesus to attend their church. They would call him false, persecute him, shun him....sound familiar?

"...back to the point, one thing is vital to mention. How Jesus and religion...are on opposite spectrum's. See, ones the work of God, but ones a man made invention."

This young man in this video, is very talented, very insightful, and very in touch with how a great many people feel now about faith, organized religion, and how it has left a great deal of the worlds population jaded.

My husband was raised Mormon. He struggled with his upbringing in the church, and even at one point, had decided to go on his mission, but then found the more he studied and prepared for it, the more he knew it wasn't for him. He made the very brave decision to go to his Bishop and explain this, and not to go on his mission, and eventually, not attend church any longer. As he has gotten older, he has found that he doesn't have any connection to the Mormon church or its beliefs, and he came to a decision that he didn't want to belong or to be Mormon anymore. You can't just "not go" in the Mormon faith, you must "withdraw" and it is a long process. It is also quite intimidating and threatening, which I find very sad.

I just don't go to mass, and the Catholic church is alright with that. My childhood religion has many, many faults, and I am the first to admit that they have had hundreds of years of scandals, power struggles, and ridiculous eras of control of their members, rules that must be followed, etc. One thing that I will defend however, is that the Catholic church does not stalk or intimidate its members. It doesn't make members of the church turn their backs on family members who choose to leave the faith. It doesn't continuously send people to your front door to "convince" you that your decision is wrong, that your "lost", that you "must re-think" leaving, because there are consequences. It is horrible...what is going to happen to my husband. He knows that it is coming, and he is preparing, but it will still hurt him deeply, and in turn, hurt me deeply. I don't understand how a church can allow, and actually ENCOURAGE such behavior.

This is an actual line, straight from the paperwork, which is 6 pages long, that is required online, to withdraw membership from the Mormon Church. Now, resignation takes time, perseverance, and obviously, the time is to notify all of your family and friends, so that they, in turn, can contact you and try to talk you out of your "obvious, horrendous mistake". They even ask for your current address, so that they can send any Missionaries within your area to your door to have discussions with you. It clearly states that you must state in your letter that you "resign" from the Church, not just ask for your name to be removed from their records. I found this amusing, as I just had an incident regarding this issue...I will get into that in a moment. So, 6 pages for this, and it's a huge deal. They seriously recommend that you have your letter notarized, and they also HIGHLY, (yes, they have it capitalized) recommend that you send it Priority Mail, to receive a confirmation that it was delivered, because "it has been discovered that they are more likely to return your letter if you do not". Wow. Okay, so, it says that the church can choose to make this difficult and it has been known to take up to three months for this to be completed. This is all very threatening, and so serious. It is as if you will be sent to prison or something. My husband hasn't attended church for years, yet he must endure all of this to stop people from knocking on our door trying to "save" him. The visits almost always happen after a visit from a family member, or a serious phone call from one. Thanks family....

This is an actual paragraph from the instructions:

Warning: If you live with people who are members of the church, they will almost certainty be told about your resignation. That is true whether the person you live with is a spouse, a parent, a sibling or even if they are just a roommate. If a relative lives in the same ward, branch or state that you do, they will probably be told about your resignation.

Who's damn business is this? Faith is a very personal thing, and it is a choice. If my husband chooses to leave the Mormon church, that is his right, that is his choice, and no ones damn business. Quite frankly, he didn't CHOOSE to be baptized Mormon, it was chosen for him. It was the faith that his parents believed in. He wasn't asked, he was never asked what he believed, what he wanted, what he chose to believe in. He is an adult, and now, he has decided, and they all need to deal with it, and either love him, or loose out on being in his life. Their loss. Their stupid choice to give up their son, brother, cousin, grandson, for a group of people who tell them what to think, what to believe, and who they can love. Shame on them.

Too much emphasis is being placed on religion and how you MUST think as they do, or you are out. This way of behavior goes against every single Deity, God, and Prophet that ever walked the face of the earth. Kindness, forgiveness, love, humility, charity, all of these are almost non-existent in today's faiths. The false front is there, but the dark reality is that there are rules, regulations, guidelines, and out right banishment if you don't play they way you are told to.

 Earlier, I mentioned the bit about a name being removed from the Church. This is different from actually resigning. I read this to mean that your name will remain in the Church for the purpose of the levels of Heaven. I think this is there because of a recent discussion that I had with my mother in law, that in turn, became completely blown out of proportion by others, and in turn, resulted in me being shunned and the utmost enemy of my husbands family....again. My position of the discussion was that I did not agree with the Mormon practice of baptism of dead people, and those that were not Mormon in life, but for some reason, Mormons decide should be baptized into the Mormon faith after they have died. I find this practice appalling, offensive, and stated quite clearly, under no circumstances was anyone to do this to me, to which my mother in law told me, "who cares what you believe?" Um....I care. I don't believe the teachings of the Mormon church, so do not baptize me into a church that I do not believe in. This became extremely offensive as it went on, due largely to the fact that it was clear that it is about what makes the Mormon church feel better....not the person they are baptizing. Its not about faith...it's about MEMBERS. It's about what they are being told to do by their church, about going against another s faith and beliefs, yet all the while protesting that no one respects theirs. Don't worry about whether or not I'm gonna be in Heaven, your Heaven, any Heaven. Don't worry about me....let ME worry about me. Do NOT make a choice for me after I die that I did NOT make while I was alive. That is disrespectful, rude and WRONG.

Heresy (from Greek αἵρεσις, which originally meant "choice") is an accusation levied against members of another group which has beliefs which conflict with those of the accusers.


 Being called a Heretic is actually a compliment as far as I am concerned. It means, "free thinker." Thanks. :-)

I believe that it is more important to be a moral person that to spend your life being a person of faith. Faith is flawed, faith is something that man developed. Being a moral person and living to be a good human being is what matters, in my opinion. To accept others, to accept their diversity, as you want them to accept yours. To accept others opinions, beliefs and way of life as you want them to accept yours. Don't try to force people in your life to believe what you believe. Don't try to force them to do anything. Love is not about force, control, or ultimatums. What works for you, may not work for another. Allow everyone to choose their own color. If we all colored our pictures in gray, what would make us smile? Life is here to live, don't waste it by waiting to die, and missing out on those times with those you love. 

Sometimes, the ones you love never say it, and the way they treat you makes you wonder. As long as we are still here, breathing, and walking on this Earth, there is still time to change, to make things right. Hate, anger, and resentment all take too much effort. Love should be effortless.

~You didn't hear because you were too busy talking~

....and I begin, with letting out a very long sigh.

Today is Leap Day. Wednesday, the 29th of February. A date that only comes once every 4 years. Many think this to be a lucky day, a fortunate day, a day of change. I have had an interesting morning, and as such, feel I should write some things down, to clear any misunderstandings, insure that there is no guessing or assumptions going on.

I read so much, and I love to read about everything. I am particularly fascinated with history, and biographies, and religion. These all intrigue me, because they all have a direct affect on our lives now. What has happened, what took place, events, philosophies, books, migration of civilizations, wars...all have happened and brought us to the present time. I blog a lot about religious topics because they are the articles that I find when reading, and most are compelling enough to me that I want to write something down. It has been suggested that I have projected "religious attacks", which is completely off the grid, and not at all what I have tried to do. Therapy is friggin expensive, and blogging is free. This, is how I vent, how I deal, how I cope. Some feel the need to go to a building and pray for their comfort....I write.

I was raised in an extremely dysfunctional household, much like a giant chunk of the worlds population, and I was also raised Catholic. For years, and years, I went to Mass on Sunday, Catechism after mass, (Catholic Sunday School), CCD, a Catholic youth group, and sang in the choir. I had my First Holy Communion, at age 8, and my Confirmation, at 14. Catholicism has been around for centuries, and these rites of passage are familiar to anyone who grew up in the Catholic church. Many of the "newer" religions that came along later, adopted and developed the same practices, renamed, arranged, and basically, took them into their churches for their own. During these years of Catholic education, my parents were at home, sleeping off the Crown Royal and Blue Nun (white wine) that they had overindulged in the night before. Not once...never, did they attend church with us. The first time I remember, was when my Grandmother Mills passed away, and we had a Mass for her funeral. My Dad literally broke out in a sweat, and was a nervous wreck. Even at my brothers wedding in Colorado, my Dad had to get drunk before the wedding, because it was in a Christian church, and a very religious ceremony. It always bothered me that we were forced to go and attend something that scare the living hell out of my Father. I have always held a great deal of anger about this.

Later, as I started to branch out of my messed up home life, and broken divorce, (too long of a nightmare, but if you know me...you know.) I began to read up and sometimes even attend many different churches. I have always been fascinated with religion, and why people believe what they believe. Some, were just beautiful services, rich with tradition, (Jewish, Catholic,Greek Orthodox...) singing, praying, reading, etc. The tradition of it all, knowing that these ceremonies have gone on for centuries...was amazing. I can understand why many stayed, followed, believed. I got that part. What puzzled me, was why I wasn't allowed to ask questions. Why is it that we are told that God is merciful, God is good, God is bountiful...but in the same paragraph, God is jealous, God will strike you dead, God is vengeful. Really? God, the all knowing, all powerful, has measly, petty human emotions? I thought he was "God".

Just that sentence would get me attacked.

When I was 7, I attended a Mormon service with my much adored neighbors and their 4 children. I loved the Andersons...they were so kind, so gentle, so sweet. Miss Darlyn was just about perfect in my eyes. I never met a woman so loving. I was thrilled to be with them, and then....

During the very long service I sat in the "Baby room" with their daughter Tammy and many other small children. There was a window over looking the church, and speakers inside the room. Kids were playing, crying, laughing. Not so bad. After a couple hours though, I was completely bored. I really didn't understand why we had to be there so long. Mass was only 45 minutes most of the time, and the time passed very quickly. (Stand, sit, kneel, pray, stand, sing, kneel, pray, stand, receive communion, pray, sing...go home). I said to Tammy that I was bored, that I preferred my church. This one wasn't fun at all. How come no one was singing...my favorite part. The service ended, and a man in a suit pulled Miss Darlyn to the side. He spoke to her sternly, pointed at me. I felt like I was in a lot of trouble, but confused. What did I do? We got in the van to go home, and Miss Darlyn took me to my parents. I was not allowed to return. What ever I, a 7 year old, had said was so bad that I was not welcome. You don't forget something like that.

In my years of adulthood, I have had multiple questions, and then, I seek the answers on my own. I do not rely on anyone else to tell me how to think, or what to believe. I have read extensively, and formed my own opinions. I feel absolutely no connection what so ever to organized religion, and many, to me, are simply brainwashing factories, scaring the hell out of people so that they will not question, not think...just do as they are told. No. I refuse to be a part of that.

So, what have I learned? Catholicism and it's forceful attitude that Priests cannot marry has caused multiple accounts of sexual abuse. The "new" Christian Mega churches have shown that money and power brings about some really disgusting human beings that tell you that you are a sinner, take your money, then go snort coke and pay for a hooker. Mormonism is so afraid of people discovering their ceremonies and beliefs, they create this cloud of secrets, and the giant bubble that incloses most of the state of Utah. Veiled hints of direct racism, and keeping women under that thumb. Do not question, do not disobey. Muslims have now had the radical insane murderers that use, just like EVERY OTHER FAITH HAS, the Muslim faith and Koran as an excuse to kill innocent people for their assention to Heaven. All in all, more people have died, been brutally killed and tortured, and families destroyed, all in the name of God. Like it or not, reality is, organized religion is always about power, control, and money. You may shake your head, and say I have it wrong, but the truth always comes out. Power is the drug that men just can't deny.

I do not "attack" religious beliefs. I state that I don't care for them, or that some are upsetting. I have every right to agree or disagree. My beliefs are that being a good person is much more important than giving money to a church so they can get rich and be tax exempt. Caring for and loving my family. Supporting my husband and my children in their every thought, every decision, and insuring them that I am completely accepting of them in every possible way. Filling my life with diversity and change, so that I don't miss out on one experience in this life. I do NOT believe in spending every moment preparing for "after death". No one, not one single human being on this planet, knows for sure, with absolute authority, what happens when we die. They will say that they do...but the TRUTH is that we don't know. They say there is a Heaven...there is a Hell. Really? What could possibly be worse than this Earth? Innocent children are ABUSED, tortured, killed. Animals are tortured, starved, abused. People are killed, neglected, abused, tortured, starved.....Hell is worse than this? No...I doubt it. I don't believe in Hell. I truly believe that it was made up to keep people in line. Fear is a very powerful medium. Used correctly, it can be a tool to rule anyone.

I am offended by those that are selfish. I am offended by those that lie, especially when it is emotionally. I do not care for those that marry for money, or security, or anything other than they completely love and adore their spouse. I am offended by those that hate for no reason. I am offended by those that cannot think for themselves, but have led their entire lives by anothers beliefs. Living in the past is a waste of time. You cannot change it, and it is a waste of emotions.

My husband lost his Father last week. How many of his family members have called him to see how he is doing? One.

Thank you Tori.

I will never be accepted by some, and that's fine. I am not living my life to please others, as they are definitely NOT living to please me. I am fortunate enough to have a husband that shares the same values and morals and beliefs that I do. He is a very resilient man that has overcome insurmountable situations and I am constantly baffled as to how he turned out so loving, and so kind. He is my hero in every way. My thinking and my beliefs are MINE, and I am asking again, please, no one, not anyone, make choices for me that I can make for myself. You are selfish in doing so, and not doing me any favors. I lived in fear and control for 26 years of my life, and as such, completely refuse to ever do so again. I am not a bad person because I am strong, and opinionated. I am simply free.

~Do you Boo Boo...I'ma do Me....you...do You!~

There are many articles circulating recently about post humous baptism, and the subjects being chosen for said baptisms. I, along with many others, are seriously offended by this practice, and truly wish that they would stop. I do NOT understand how anyone could feel that they have the right or priveledge to choose for another human being, such a personal choice. I don't buy into any of the excuses made for why this is being done in the first place. It is beyond offensive, obnoxious, and arrogant for ANY religion to feel that it has the right to do such a thing. What happened to religious freedom? What happened to freedom of choice? What in the hell has happened in this world, that religion is becoming so damn crazy, they feel the need to baptize people after they are dead? People who didn't want to be a part of the church when they were here...but you feel it's alright to make them a part of the church now that they are dead, and can't respond or tell you to fuck off. Yes, I said it, fuck off.
Go ahead, say how offense THAT is. Ha! Words offend you, but not the fact that you are invading a person's personal wishes and beliefs, and inflicting them with your own. Oh, that's not offensive, because you are doing it in the "name of God". What a bunch of bullshit. Millions, billions of people have lost their lives for centuries "in the name of God". There is nothing holy about it. It's all smoke and mirrors. Bullshit...it's all bullshit.
Some of the worlds most important and peaceful individuals have recently been post humously baptized into a faith that they did not follow, did not care to join, and did not believe in. It is such an appalling act, such a disgusting practice to take some of these people, most who symbolize peace, love, understanding, tollerance, and FORCE them into a religion that is so damn crazy and insecure it has to gain members through death...because no intelligent human being would join in life, knowing that they do such a thing.

I know that in writing this, I am risking total alienation from relatives that are in the Mormon faith, but this is just the breaking point. I am sick of religion in general, and acts such as this baptism crap is exactly why. Religion is about as far as you can get from "Godliness, being good, moral, intent on the best for mankind." Religion is about CONTROL, ask no questions, do not challenge, shut your damn mouth and do what we say. Excommunicated? So what? That's your threat? Who the hell cares? Tell ya what...think of it this way. If all of us "sinners" are going to this hell that you spend, no WASTE, your life fearing, then hey....be happy. There will be more room for you, right? Don't worry your crazy, delusional little head about me...or the rest of us sinners. "Do you, Boo Boo...I'ma do me...do YOU." I know what I feel, I think, I believe. Don't try to do it for me dammit. That's why I got divorced in the first damn place, alright?
Secrecy and ridiculous ceremonies, telling you to keep quiet or you will go to hell, just help to make me more secure in my decision. If your faith is "the true way, the only way", then why in the hell all the secrecy? If you are gonna do these ceremonies for people after they are dead, wouldn't it make MORE SENSE to allow them to know of the "handshakes, secret names, etc" while they are here?? What in the hell are you trying to pull?


Example:

First version: February 2012

In all the extensive media coverage of Mitt Romney, much of it discussing his religion, not a word have I seen about the secrets of Mormonism, the secrets of Romney's life-long beliefs and practices. The reason, of course, is obvious: nobody can talk about a secret unless they are in on the secret. And few journalists or Christian ministers or anti-Mitt politicians are in on the secret. Only Mormons know the secrets, and they're not going to tell. And former Mormons, like myself, who were initiated into those same secrets, and afterwards left Mormonism - we know the secrets. Should we tell?

Journalist Frank Rich, in his January 29 article "Who in God's Name Is Mitt Romney?" in New York Magazine, subtitled it: "His greatest passion is something he's determined to keep secret." And that secret is the details of his beliefs and practices as a faithful, life-long Mormon, the same secrets that all good Mormons have vowed to keep secret, even though their life depended on it.

And why does Romney (and his church) want to keep people from knowing those secrets? Most Mormons will claim that they are not "secret," but merely so "sacred" that they cannot be discussed. That is a quibble, since Mormons hold any number of other aspects of their religion to be "sacred," and yet they don't hesitate to discuss them (for example: baptism, conferring the gift of the Holy Ghost, ordination to the priesthood, etc.). In my day, when Mitt and I were initiated into the secrets, we were specifically instructed that we were under "the greatest obligations of secrecy." Nowadays, the Mormons simply take a solemn oath that they will "never reveal" anything about the rituals. That sounds like a secret to any ordinary person, doesn't it?

All right. I am going reveal those secrets, since nobody else seems willing and able to do so.

The biggest secrets involve the special lengthy rituals (the Mormons call them "ordinances") that take place outside of public view in the Mormon temples. The most important of these rituals is called the "endowment" - lasting several hours and taking the Mormon through symbolic washings and anointings (in my day they were actual washings and anointings on the entire naked body), then clothing the Mormon in special clothing and robes (including the notorious "magic underwear," which Mormons call "the garment"). The Mormon then watches and participates in long dramatizations of key events in the coming of the gospel, beginning with the creation of the world, showing Adam's fall, the coming of the Christian gospel (but not the crucifixion and resurrection), and ultimately the Mormon's being admitted into heaven, represented by "passing through the veil (of the temple)." When Romney and I first went through this ceremony, it was a ritualized dramatization with live temple personnel. Nowadays it's a movie. Yes, the most sacred worship service in Mormonism involves watching a movie.

Why is that so secret? you may ask. What aren't the Mormons supposed to reveal? What do they hold so sacred that it's secret? Quite a lot.

Part of the endowment ritual instructs the Mormons in the four "signs" and "tokens" of the Mormon priesthood. Each also has a "name" (or password). The Mormon must make an oath that he (or she) will never reveal these, outside the temple. The purpose of the signs and tokens, according to Mormon Prophet Brigham Young, is that they will be needed to pass the angels guarding the gates of heaven. The tokens are various handshakes, copied largely from the Masonic initiation rites of the 1830s, when church founder Joseph Smith was initiated into Freemasonry. The signs are various positions of the arms and hands (right arm to the square, for example, is the "first sign of the Aaronic priesthood").

Before 1990, when Romney and I first went through this ceremony, we were taught that each of the first three signs and tokens also had a "penalty" associated with each one, and we had to mime various ways of taking life to represent the penalty to us if we were to reveal the secret signs and tokens: slitting one's own throat, ripping open one's chest, disemboweling oneself. Yes, folks, this was part of the most sacred ritual in Mormonism: pantomiming your own bloody death.

So Mitt Romney, and all other righteous Mormons, can be confident that they know the secret passwords and secret handshakes to get into heaven. Do you see why Romney and his church are reluctant for "unworthy" people (the rest of us, including Mrs. Romney's parents) to know about this? As Deborah Laake put it in her autobiographical book Secret Ceremonies, (New York 1993):

The actions that were going to guarantee my entrance at the gates [of heaven] would have nothing to do with love or charity or the other teachings of Christ that I'd been raised to believe God valued. In fact, I hadn't heard a single one of those words spoken today, the most primary day of religious instruction in my entire life. No, I was going to burst into heaven on the basis of mumbo-jumbo. ... The mysteries of life were fraternity rituals. ... Did all the white-suited glorifiers in the room unquestioningly accept a ritual of nutty gestures from the pseudo-occult as a sacrament? Those were the first moments when I viewed Mormonism with suspicion.

Or as summarized by a young Mormon missionary:"If we told investigators [prospective converts] about that, they wouldn't join, because it's too weird!"

But wait! you are saying. You haven't revealed anything. You've just told us that there is stuff to reveal. So reveal it!

Right. The four secret passwords that will get you into heaven:

The first one is the "new name" that you get with your garment. Mine is "Enoch" and you can borrow it when the time comes. The angel won't know. If you're female, you can use my ex-wife's new name: "Mary." (She would kill me if she knew I gave her sacred new name away!)

The second password is easy: your own given first name.

The third password: "The Son," meaning "the Son of God."

The fourth one is so sacred that you don't get it until the very last moment in the ceremony, at the veil, from God Himself (or an old guy standing behind the curtain who is pretending to be God). And it's very long, but you have to memorize it or you don't get in:

Health in the navel, marrow in the bones, strength in the loins and in the sinews. Power in the priesthood be upon me and upon my posterity through all generations of time and throughout all eternity.

(If you watched "Big Love" faithfully, one episode showed this part of the ceremony.)

And what about the secret (oops! that should be "sacred") handshakes? Rather than describe them, I will suggest you simply do an Internet search for "mormon handshake" images. They'll be right at the top.

Anything else? Yes, there are more secrets.

During the endowment, Mormons are required to take secret oaths that they will obey various "laws." The "law of obedience" requires them to obey "the law of God and keep his commandments." They don't specify what the "law of God" is, but Mormons understand that the Mormon church is the only true source of God's law and commandments. So they are taking an oath to obey their church.

The "law of sacrifice" requires them to "covenant to sacrifice all that we possess, even our own lives if necessary, in sustaining and defending the Kingdom of God." Mormons understand "the kingdom of God" to be the Mormon church.

The "law of the gospel" is accompanied by a charge to avoid "evil speaking of the Lord's anointed [church leaders]" as well as avoiding "light-mindedness, loud laughter, taking the Lord's name in vain" and every "unholy and impure practice" (not specified).

The "law of chastity" is to abstain from sexual relations except with one's lawful spouse. That one does make sense. That's one of the Ten Commandments, after all.

The last law is the "law of consecration." It requires the Mormons to

...consecrate yourselves, your time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed you, or with which he may bless you, to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for the building up of the Kingdom of God on the earth and for the establishment of Zion.

A couple of terms need explanation. The "Kingdom of God on the earth" and "Zion" mean, to Mormons, not just their church, but ultimately the theocracy that will replace the non-religious civil government. They believe, of course, that Christ will come to run this government, using faithful Mormons as administrators.

The pressing question for Mitt Romney, and for the Mormons who are supporting his candidacy, is: Would Romney consider the Presidency to be something that God had "blessed" him with, and which, pursuant to his secret oath, he should "consecrate" to his church for establishing a theocracy? If he is elected, will he kneel down and thank his God for blessing him with the presidency? And what is he supposed to do, according to his secret oath, with "everything" God has blessed him with? That's right: he is to use it for the benefit of the Mormon church.

Now wait a minute, you may be thinking. It doesn't really mean that! The Mormon church doesn't expect that from its members, does it? Oh, yes, it does! Remember California's Proposition 8? The Mormon church pulled out all the stops to pass that proposition, which would forbid same-sex marriage, and it called upon all Mormons to cough up and donate, even those who were not California voters. Those who were hesitant to do so (often the amounts demanded were thousands of dollars per family) were simply and subtly reminded of their "temple covenants." And they all understood that the church was calling in the chits on the oaths to obey, to sacrifice, and to consecrate whatever the church demanded of them.

How would a President who was also a good Mormon obey those secret oaths?

It wouldn't even take a phone call from church headquarters to the White House. Mitt, being a well-trained Mormon, knows "in his heart" what God would want (which is the same thing that the church wants, of course) and doesn't need to be told. That's the way it works already in the only American theocracy in existence today (Utah). The Mormon politicians who run that state - the judiciary, the legislature, the executive branch - don't have to ask church leaders for direction. They know what they should do, without asking specifically (usually).

The question for American voters is: knowing that Romney has taken this secret oath, that he is a faithful Mormon, do you want him to answer the question "Would you feel bound by your sacred oath to obey the law of consecration that you made in the endowment ceremony?"

Should it make a difference to you, the voter?

How scary is it that the "man behind the curtain" wasn't just a movie....The Wizard of Oz is REAL, and lurking in the Mormon Church. What the hell?

~Brains are to Use...not to Wash~

The following article was one that was in the Washington Post, and as I am very interested in religion, and fascinated with the belief system, and those who are so buried in it, loose themselves and their own thought process. Interesting read....my thoughts to come after.

A Mormon Church in need of Reform

There has been much talk recently about whether America is ready for a Mormon president. This tolerance question should cut both ways.

Nearly a quarter of Americans told Gallup last summer that they wouldn’t vote for a Mormon president, which is unfortunate since former governor Mitt Romney and former candidate Jon Huntsman are both smart, capable men.

Meanwhile, though the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life recently found that 56 percent of Mormons think America is ready for a Mormon president, the church isn’t exactly welcoming of outsiders. Mormons account for 57 percent of Utah residents yet some 91 percent of Utah state legislators self-identify as Mormons. The state that’s home to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has elected only two non-Mormon governors in nearly 116 years and has sent just one non-Mormon to Congress in the past five decades.

Some of this distrust of outsiders is understandable because the church has been persecuted by religious and secular foes since its inception. Many mainstream Christians consider Mormonism a cult — a fact thought to have given Romney trouble in South Carolina’s primary. To combat anti-Mormonism, last year church leaders expanded a multimillion-dollar image campaign begun in 2010 that is nearly identical to the “I Am A Scientologist” campaign from a year earlier: On airwaves, YouTube, billboards and more, smiling, family-oriented people declare, “I’m a Mormon.” It’s part of a series of efforts to buy public affection.

Yes, Mormons love families. But the family-values facade applies only if you stay in the fold. Former Mormons know the family estrangement and bigotry that often come with questioning or leaving the church.

The church I was raised in values unquestioning obedience over critical thinking. This caused trauma and cognitive dissonance when I questioned church doctrine and official history. In online forums and support groups, former and questioning Mormons gather and offer comfort. Some of us are prominent, such as Steve Benson, the Pulitzer Prize-winning political cartoonist, or singer Tal Bachman. Most of us are quiet dissidents who wish to lead conscientious lives.

I was born into an multi-generational Mormon pioneer family. The mantle of those ancestors who made the ultimate sacrifice while crossing America’s plains to Utah weighed heavily on me as I grew up romanticizing the church’s worldwide missionary successes.

But I struggled after realizing that Mormonism’s claims about anthropology, history and other subjects contradict reason and science. While many faiths’ irrational claims are obscured by centuries of myth and rubble, the LDS church lacks the moderation and scholarship of its older peers. It also stifles efforts to openly question church pronouncements, labeling such behavior as satanic.

Critics of Mormonism include geneticists, Egyptologists and even the Smithsonian Institution, which stopped Mormon apologists from claiming the institute viewed the Book of Mormon as a factual document.

While studying at Brigham Young University, I spiritually imploded after learning these things and other facts outside official church curriculum. Disturbed, I met with a high-ranking Mormon leader who told me to quit reading historical and scientific materials because they were “worse than pornography.” BYU’s dean of religious education wouldn’t answer my growing list of questions. Other leaders told me that questioning is acceptable so long as it’s done secretly. I became distraught. For years my faith was an unshakable part of my identity, and if I openly voiced my concerns I risked rejection from the community I loved. Since Mormonism is highly centralized, without the local doctrinal flexibility that exists in Judaism and many Christian churches, I had no place to live a moderated, reformed existence.

Salt Lake City’s male gerontocracy told me to avoid books and marry, but I could not stomach all their teachings. For example, mainstream Mormons banned polygamy in 1890 to obtain Utah’s statehood, but they continue to perform temple ceremonies that “seal” one man to multiple women in the hereafter. My idea of heaven did not involve a husband whose love could be shared with many wives.

Staying in the church meant I would have my family, but I couldn’t pretend to believe. And it was difficult to live a fulfilling life without Mormonism. My parents shut me out of their home for nearly five years because of religion, and some former friends shunned me.

Many other dissident Mormons find themselves discouraged from voicing doubts and ostracized if they do. Those whose spouses leave the church are sometimes encouraged to get divorced and remarry a faithful Latter-day Saint. Non-Mormons are not allowed to attend family members’ weddings in Mormon temples. Many gay Mormons have been driven to suicide, deeply conflicted about whether acting on their sexuality is, as the church teaches, a sin.

With public interest in Mormonism so high, I hope the scrutiny will help break down the church’s fundamentalist trappings: secrecy about its finances, anti-women doctrine and homophobia, to start. Perhaps someday the church will not excommunicate, fire and demote people who want honest, church-wide dialogue about Mormon history and doctrine.

Some Mormons compare Joseph Smith, the church’s founder, to Martin Luther, the Protestant reformer who exposed Catholic power abuses and doctrinal inconsistencies. Mormonism needs a Luther of its own.

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What followed was a furious array of comments. Those who agree with the article, mostly those that were actually raised Mormon, and then left the church for their own reasons. Then of course, the carefully worded, so gentle as to not offend the Bishops or God, responses that are transparent, clear, and obviously burned into the brains of the followers.

I love learning about all religions, as I have said many times, and I find it all interesting. The issue that I run into time and time again is that most of the followers have absolutely NO idea what it is that they are following, only that they must do so, without question. They are told over and over to question is to wrong God, to blaspheme, to sin against a vengeful God and they will suffer the wrath. This is the biggest contradiction and pile of (as my son would say...) "dookie" I have ever heard. God is mercy, God is good, but don't you DARE question God, or you shall be struck down. God is jealous, a petty emotion that even Man can overcome, but not God. No other Gods before me. How is this taught in a church that believes that in their idea of Heaven, a man shall be sealed to multiple wives. ??? Men can have multiple women, but not Gods? Um....what?

....and they are homophobic. Really? You can have all the women you want, but no...uh huh, bitch...you will NOT have another man. Kind of explains a lot actually....

Truth is often found in the words of the young. Here, is an example of a brilliant young woman who has courage, knowledge, and intelligence.

Michelle Fowler · Salt Lake City, UtahClearly this is a hot topic, so I know this comment will not be viewed by many as the comments range in the hundreds. However, I feel the need to comment on a serious issue that is being argued in previous comments, but not really addressed (unless it was addressed after the first 100 comments).

I am not commenting on the validity of the LDS church. Each of us are able to make that decision on our own.

The issue that I wish to address is the "homophobia" among the LDS church. Some of you have wisely pointed out that the official church stance is that homosexuality is a sin, not that we should fear or hate those who identify as such. While this is true, when the top church leaders harshly call homosexuality an abomination, it does little for the self esteem of those young men and young women who are questioning their sexuality (or have identified as homosexual).

You can see the effect it has on their self esteem by looking at the extremely high gay teen suicide rate in Utah. Obviously it's not only because of the church's stance, but also because of members who take the judgement of "sin" and use it as justification for their hateful attitudes toward the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community (there will also be other contributing factors, but I'm focusing on what separates Utah from the rest of the nation). The problem I have is this: I haven't personally (and yes, I know it's just my personal experience) seen any backlash to those members who are hateful toward these poor teens.

Beyond the suicide rate, Utah has one of the highest rates of homelessness among our LGBT youth. In the fiscal year of 2008-2009, it was estimated that 43% of our homeless youth identify as either Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender (or "other than straight"). This number is drastically different throughout the US. For the rest of our nation, that estimate ranges from 20%-40%, depending upon the state.

Well, seeing as the US Department of Health and Human Services estimates that about 3% of the US population identifies in the same category, clearly there's a huge disconnect. Now I'm not saying that the only problem is the church in this problem Utah faces, but they certainly aren't helping the cause. We need to be aware of this gigantic issue. Can we really allow our youth to be kicked out on the streets just because they came out of the closet?

I see this as an opportunity to open dialogue and find solutions for our problems. What can we do to fix this injustice? And not only us, but the biggest influential religion in Utah... what can the LDS church do to curb this saddening epidemic we face?

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My dearest, and extremely adorable, friend Lukela, wrote and posted this note in 2010. I cried when I read this, and I felt his anguish and pain in his decision. When Lukela and I first talked about his faith, I was shocked. Lukela, the Hawaiian, Gay Mormon. I found it fascinating, confusing and hilarious at the same time. He stood by his faith at the time, was still attending Church..and then:

And Good shall be called Evil...Thoughts on a General conference, for those who think in Generalities.

by Lukela LeGrand on Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 2:08pm

YEsterday I watched a talk given by Boyd.K Packer at the last Mormon General Conference. In this "TALK" (read off a teleprompter) He snarkishly calls out not only people who "SYMPATHIZE" with a gay person, but people who vote for equal rights. He condemns homosexuality at a socially sensitive time and encourages ignorance with the beguiling tongue of a 97 year old serpent, wait 94 year old. THEN labels the speech with LOVE and wraps the whole thing up in the name of JESUS CHRIST!.

Now, my GHANDI answer to all of this is "listen, this guy hasn't seen god, this guy doesnt strike me as a homosexual, so why would I listen to a thing he has to say about GOD, or whats more, Gods view on Homosexuality. And I forgive his comments and ignorance" my UN- GHANDI answer is "someone EVIL is posing as someone GOOD".

If I were to come up to you, say, a stranger in a grocery store and yell at the top of my lungs "I KNOW YOU ! I SAW YOU I saw you murder a small child! QUICK QUICK CALL THE POLICE!" I actually wouldnt look too crazy. I garauntee YOU would though, especially as you scream "I didnt, I dont even know this guy! what CHILD!?!? HELP HELP!!!!!HELP!" while the police tuck your little head into a crown victoria.

Now, I wouldnt do that of course, I have a conscience. But egotistical, sociopathic power hungry men who actually believe they talk to GOD for all men? THEY DONT have a conscience, and they will throw out lies for thier own purpose. PERIOD. With no recoil or remorse. And they know the bigger the lie they sugar coat the more it will frustrate those who know better, and this they do so others will think the enlightened are crazy, the beautiful are ugly- "THE GOOD EVIL"

Socrates taught a young student (was it Socrates? I dont know for sure) that indeed because the student was willing to admit that he did not know much, that he was the wisest in the land. I'm not good at Math, but if you are, try and count how many "I' knows" you can hear in a mormon General Conference. And about the craziest things.

Hate, FEAR and ignorance are not small. Emotionally and in metaphor they are very big. They can be hidden though in big pretty Temples and even bigger prettier bodies of people. For if everyone took a pebble piece, we could hide the Himalayas.

I will forever oppose a religion that supports men killing each other for ancient reasons and preaches that two men loving out of love is a sin. I will oppose any religion that thinks they know what God wants for all man while asking man for his money. Like god would need such a thing to bring to pass a purpose. Question it all.

I do not know much, and to a reader, a writer is worth only what he knows. But I have seen the great Mormon OZ, behind his curtain he is small and angry. Because of his fear you can tell his disciples for they are full of fear too. Do not listen to him. Tin man, you've a heart, Lion you've the nerve, scarecrow you've a brain and my Dear Dorothy's? you can find your way home without him. I love you, I am you. Now go be careful, wise and happy!

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I will always love Lukela. His lust for life, slurpee's, cigarettes, and visions of becoming a beautiful 6'2" singer with the biggest silver dollar nipples in history. (Don't ask..or do, ask him. It's hilarious...) His honesty is a trait that few bare, and I commend him for bearing it all for the world to see.

Hate of any kind, is wrong. Excommunicating a person for simply having questions is ridiculous. We were given a brain to use...not to wash.

My point is proven by the fact that a someone very close had this article listed as "read by..." on their Webpage, yet, it is obvious that they saw the title, but not the content. This sums up what I have been trying to say all along. Books are meant for reading, education, knowledge, and some for entertainment, escape, fantasy. Don't just be drawn in by a fancy title, and a pretty cover, then loan it out, recommending it as "great reading" unless you have gone cover to cover, word for word, and know what you are passing along. You might think you put your name behind a great lesson in history when in fact, you just fluffed a fantasy.

~Common Sense Ain't So Common~

The level of stress that is currently residing in my existence is at a very uncomfortable high right now, and what is even more frustrating, is that the hits are coming at a rapid pace. My patience is gone, my tolerance is non-existent, and I am completely out of answers.

I am truly fed up with those that whine, and whine, and don't have one little clue as to how fortunate they really are. Problems are a major thorn to those that have them, but what specifically is a "problem"? Do you have a job? Does the job give you daily stress and strife, physical exhaustion, pain, anguish and anxiety? Do you run yourself to the point of exhaustion everyday, for minimal pay, all the while being talked to in a rude and condescending manner? Are your bills behind, with no clear answer as to how you can catch up? Are you currently suffering from an illness, with dyer outcome, pain, disability, discomfort? Did the love of your life hurt you, leave, lie, cheat, destroy your life, leaving you behind, severely wounded? Are you alone?

Most do not know how to stop and truly appreciate what it is that they have. So many spend countless hours and days mourning over what they think they are missing out on. Always have to keep up with the Jones's....have the latest gadgets, best labels, etc.

Do you have someone in your life that tells you they love you? Or are you in the opposite corner, letting another human being make you feel like you are unworthy, and you are foolishly accepting this, and then doing absolutely nothing to save yourself?????

Anger is my constant companion lately, and I really, really don't like it. I find that more and more frustrations with people, and their total lack of motivation for life, and to be better, is driving me mad. I feel like I am pulling myself back, and deliberately avoiding most, simply due to the fact that they are wasting their lives, sitting there accepting that this is the best it will ever be, and not caring enough to change it. I don't want to be them.....I don't want to be one of those. I have always felt driven, always worked, always looked to better, to try harder, to accomplish. I feel like right at this moment, I am stuck, in a little boat, in a very stagnant pond... no waves, no clear stream to pull me through. Some one please pinch me and wake me up....

~I am pretty sure that I am an adult...therefore....

.....I will say what I please, and what I feel on my own blogs and pages. I am fed up with being told that I should or must do this..or warn about that. People, seriously, stop being so sensitive. Stop acting so perfect. Not one single person on this planet is perfect. Most who act like they are are closet freaks, closet cussers, closet racists. If you are married and have kids, guess what? At some time, probably many times, you got down and dirty with your hubby or wife, and enjoyed every mintue of it, maybe even let out a bunch of noise too. Life is too damn short for all of this nonsense.If there is a post that is racist, or just hateful, cruel, insensitive, or maybe attacks in an unprovoked way...then by all means, I do understand. If you are offended by a parody, meant to be funny, make you laugh, let you forget your stress and striff for two minutes, and happens to have a few cuss words in it....really? That gets your knickers all in a wad? Because I don't recall anyone being destroyed and offended by videos of war, violence against women, kids in school beating another student for their own ammusement, etc. What about those that are so selfish and controlling that they feel they have the right to force their beliefs and rules on others....especially their children, who apparently, are not allowed to think for themselves, or choose the direction that they would like to take in their life.

I started this blog because I wanted practice. I want to be a good writer. I want to find that feeling that Ihad when I was only 14, and I had a huge notebook full of poems. I could write constantly, and it made me feel validated, worthy, heard.

Words are just words. Developed by men for the purpose of communication. Yes, it is true, some of the words can be ugly, cruel, degrading, humiliating. Are cuss words in this category? Conservatives will say absolutely, and in the same breath, tell me that I am going to hell if I do not believe as they do, or follow their faith blindly, no questions asked. And I have no reason to be completelly offended by that simply because in their minds they didn't say, "go to fucking church". Makes no sense.

You know what I find offensive? People who are dissmissive of those or things that make them fear the opinion of the masses. Why care? It is better to lie? To hide? To be decietful? No.....be who you are, and be proud. Be brave enough to stand up for yourself, like what you like, sing if it makes you happy, love who you love with every ounce of your being, talk about mistakes, talk about her. She exists....and the day will be here soon, where she wwill be sitting our dinner table, and pictures will be posted.....and questions will arise. Why the secrecy? Why in the world would anyone be ashamed of having such a beautiful child to love, to laugh, to hug, to be part of the family.

Not one single family on this earth is perfect. Everyone has drama. Everyone has that one crazy relative that is just out there, but gives us great stories, and makes us laugh. Everyone has different opinions and likes and dislikes, beliefs or no beliefs. Embrace it all. It is the spice that gives our lives flavor. Without it, we would all be dry toast. Nothing....no sweet, no comfort, no enjoyment. Don't judge....just because someone is open, and honest, and not afraid to express themselves, does not make them a bad person. It makes them human.

....and then Beyonce came on, and ruined everything.

~"Hash yer vasti haz save, hash anha varraggak yera ma lekhoon zhorre yeroon!"~

So, I know what you are thinking...."what in the hell does that mean?" I was reading today, and came across some articles on language, and how the Dothraki language has been developed specifically for the series on HBO, "The Game of Thrones", and the creator of this language is now up to 3300 words. He is trying to reach 5000 before season two begins in April. Anyhow... I came across some quotes, and this was one of them. I love it. "Hash yer vasti haz save, hash anha varraggak yera ma lekhoon zhorre yeroon!", means “If you say that again, I will choke you with your own tongue!”

Exactly how I feel lately, especially while at work.

It seems that recently, I just don't have any patience for people at all. They have no manners, no conscience, no soul. Most are going through this life poaching and pillaging, simply taking from others for their own selfish ambitions. No trust exists anymore. There is no compassion, no empathy. It is as if humanity has flushed itself down the toilet...spiraling out of control, desperately trying to reach for the edge to hang on, and will stomp on, grab and drown anyone or anything that gets in their way.

You think I sound rather pessimistic? A dark, sad way to see things? Come hang out with me at work for two hours. It will really change your mind.

Using others for your own gain is almost acceptable behavior now. Staring blindly at a cell phone or tablet while another human being is trying to communicate with you is a given. Risk crashing your car, alienating your spouse, ignoring your children....so what? This is how life is today. Complain as much as possible to get something for free. Treat others as if they are objects, not people. Say one thing, then do the opposite, what difference does it make? Lie, cheat, steal, beg, borrow, betray.....the list goes on.

If one single person responds with "find Jesus" or "faith is what we need" I swear, I will re-post the title of this blog a hundred times over.

I don't agree, nor do I believe that anyone should do something good because they are in fear of their faith. To me, that simply means they are still false, still lying, still fake. You can't do something good, or try to behave in a decent manner simply because you are afraid of consequences. The RIGHT thing to do is just be good because it is the RIGHT thing to do. Be kind because it is how people SHOULD behave. Be faithful to your spouse because you are SUPPOSED to be faithful. LOVE them because that is why you got married in the first place, (and if it isn't, then I really am despicably annoyed by you). Look people in the eye when you speak to them, or when they speak to you. Say please and thank you, and you will be genuinely surprised by how far that gets you, rather than acting a fool. If you are troubled, talk about it. Don't hold it all in, it's not good for you. If you need help, ASK FOR HELP.

It is astounding to me how people act, when the alternative is so easy. What happened to wanting to be a good person? Wanting to succeed on your own merit and hard work? Being recognized for your work and integrity, not how much ass you kiss?

Rome is falling....and sitting back and playing the violin, while it all burns, are those that struck the match. Maybe it's time everyone pulled together, and gathered a little water.