At what point do you sit down and say, "okay, I have had a nervous breakdown?" I have heard people say that they have, and in my family there have been stories of them. I am not sure what the whole "breakdown" really means, but it was always this mystery occurrence. This very dramatic event, like on TV soap operas, when the actress pulls her hand to her head, and gasps. Everyone shakes their head in sentiment, "Oh, how sad, how terrible, the nervous breakdown. She needs rest. She needs Valium." What exactly is that supposed to do anyway?
In days before, it seems to me that the stress level for people was much less than now. Any form of breakdown, to me anyway, would seem to be something that had to come from drastic events, or if someone had mental issues to begin with. One family member of mine, had a very justifiable breakdown, due to abuse, stress, emotional
Friday, March 18, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
~Yet another pondering moment...but a good one~
Well, I have to say, I never have really sat around and said, "I am an atheist", nor have I ever really said that I don't believe in God. I simply have lots of questions. I never understood why having questions was a bad thing, but for some reason, it pisses people off. I think that questions are good. I think that searching for answers is good. I have to thank Chad for this article. It's great. It really has some valid points. I don't believe that it is meant to offend people. I am sure that it will...but oh well...get over it.
Why don’t you believe in God? I get that question all the time. I always try to give a sensitive, reasoned answer. This is usually awkward, time consuming and pointless. People who believe in God don’t need proof of his existence, and they certainly don’t want evidence to the contrary. They are happy with their belief. They even say things like “it’s true to me” and “it’s faith.” I still give my logical answer because I feel that not being honest would be patronizing and impolite. It is ironic therefore that “I don’t believe in God because there is absolutely no scientific evidence for his existence and from what I’ve heard the very definition is a logical impossibility in this known universe,” comes across as both patronizing and impolite.
[UPDATE: For more from Gervais, go to Does God Exist? Ricky Gervais Takes Your Questions]
Arrogance is another accusation. Which seems particularly unfair. Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence -- evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition. If it did, you wouldn’t get a shot of penicillin, you’d pop a leach down your trousers and pray. Whatever you “believe,” this is not as effective as medicine. Again you can say, “It works for me,” but so do placebos. My point being, I’m saying God doesn’t exist. I’m not saying faith doesn’t exist. I know faith exists. I see it all the time. But believing in something doesn’t make it true. Hoping that something is true doesn’t make it true. The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.
Why don’t I believe in God? No, no no, why do YOU believe in God? Surely the burden of proof is on the believer. You started all this. If I came up to you and said, “Why don’t you believe I can fly?” You’d say, “Why would I?” I’d reply, “Because it’s a matter of faith.” If I then said, “Prove I can’t fly. Prove I can’t fly see, see, you can’t prove it can you?” You’d probably either walk away, call security or throw me out of the window and shout, ‘’F—ing fly then you lunatic.”
This, is of course a spirituality issue, religion is a different matter. As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a god. I don’t think there is a god, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a god. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different god, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are. From what I can gather, pretty much the worst type of person you can be is an atheist. The first four commandments hammer this point home. There is a god, I’m him, no one else is, you’re not as good and don’t forget it. (Don’t murder anyone, doesn’t get a mention till number 6.)
When confronted with anyone who holds my lack of religious faith in such contempt, I say, “It’s the way God made me.”
But what are atheists really being accused of?
The dictionary definition of God is “a supernatural creator and overseer of the universe.” Included in this definition are all deities, goddesses and supernatural beings. Since the beginning of recorded history, which is defined by the invention of writing by the Sumerians around 6,000 years ago, historians have cataloged over 3700 supernatural beings, of which 2870 can be considered deities.
So next time someone tells me they believe in God, I’ll say “Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?…” If they say “Just God. I only believe in the one God,” I’ll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don’t believe in 2,870 gods, and they don’t believe in 2,869.
I used to believe in God. The Christian one that is.
I loved Jesus. He was my hero. More than pop stars. More than footballers. More than God. God was by definition omnipotent and perfect. Jesus was a man. He had to work at it. He had temptation but defeated sin. He had integrity and courage. But He was my hero because He was kind. And He was kind to everyone. He didn’t bow to peer pressure or tyranny or cruelty. He didn’t care who you were. He loved you. What a guy. I wanted to be just like Him.
One day when I was about 8 years old, I was drawing the crucifixion as part of my Bible studies homework. I loved art too. And nature. I loved how God made all the animals. They were also perfect. Unconditionally beautiful. It was an amazing world.
I lived in a very poor, working-class estate in an urban sprawl called Reading, about 40 miles west of London. My father was a laborer and my mother was a housewife. I was never ashamed of poverty. It was almost noble. Also, everyone I knew was in the same situation, and I had everything I needed. School was free. My clothes were cheap and always clean and ironed. And mum was always cooking. She was cooking the day I was drawing on the cross.
I was sitting at the kitchen table when my brother came home. He was 11 years older than me, so he would have been 19. He was as smart as anyone I knew, but he was too cheeky. He would answer back and get into trouble. I was a good boy. I went to church and believed in God -– what a relief for a working-class mother. You see, growing up where I did, mums didn’t hope as high as their kids growing up to be doctors; they just hoped their kids didn’t go to jail. So bring them up believing in God and they’ll be good and law abiding. It’s a perfect system. Well, nearly. 75 percent of Americans are God-‐fearing Christians; 75 percent of prisoners are God-‐fearing Christians. 10 percent of Americans are atheists; 0.2 percent of prisoners are atheists.
But anyway, there I was happily drawing my hero when my big brother Bob asked, “Why do you believe in God?” Just a simple question. But my mum panicked. “Bob,” she said in a tone that I knew meant, “Shut up.” Why was that a bad thing to ask? If there was a God and my faith was strong it didn’t matter what people said.
Oh…hang on. There is no God. He knows it, and she knows it deep down. It was as simple as that. I started thinking about it and asking more questions, and within an hour, I was an atheist.
Wow. No God. If mum had lied to me about God, had she also lied to me about Santa? Yes, of course, but who cares? The gifts kept coming. And so did the gifts of my new found atheism. The gifts of truth, science, nature. The real beauty of this world. I learned of evolution -– a theory so simple that only England’s greatest genius could have come up with it. Evolution of plants, animals and us –- with imagination, free will, love, humor. I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer and pizza are all good enough reasons for living.
But living an honest life -– for that you need the truth. That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.
So what does the question “Why don’t you believe in God?” really mean. I think when someone asks that they are really questioning their own belief. In a way they are asking “what makes you so special? “How come you weren’t brainwashed with the rest of us?” “How dare you say I’m a fool and I’m not going to heaven, f— you!” Let’s be honest, if one person believed in God he would be considered pretty strange. But because it’s a very popular view it’s accepted. And why is it such a popular view? That’s obvious. It’s an attractive proposition. Believe in me and live forever. Again if it was just a case of spirituality this would be fine.
“Do unto others…” is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is -‐ a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell.”
You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
I really love the last line. Your motives for being good should not be because you are worried about AFTER you die. Be good now. Do it because you want to be a good person NOW. Do it to be nice because it is the right thing to do. I also agree that the Bible is a good moral code. I think at the time that it was written, a book of its nature was needed. If God had actually written it, and not men, then I believe that certain thoughts would not have been missed, and others would not have been in there at all. Petty issues, such as "contempt for neighbors belongings" over harm to children, or rape, or speaking of God being jealous, an emotion that even humans can overcome. And exactly why couldn't Jesus have been married? Who would that have harmed? These things make no sense to me.
I think it is best to not put all of your reasons and hope into what someone else is telling you to believe. Most religions are based on the teachings of someone who just made things up as they went along. Not good. Just take a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. I have read up on most religions. They all have something to offer. It is when you get too wrapped up in it, that you get into trouble. Too much of anything is bad. Too much fat, too much sugar, too much Jesus. None of this is good. Moderation. Always a good thought.
Just breathe people. Sit back, do what is right. Stop treating those around you like dirt under your shoes. Not one single person on this planet is better than anyone else. Wait...maybe a few are cracked. You know what I mean though. Don't try to take away the basic rights of anyone simply because they are different. Don't try to FORCE your beliefs on someone else, because you damn well know you hate it when they try to do that to you. Don't sit around and believe that your faith is the one and only. That's a load of crap. How arrogant do you really have to be to believe that? Get over it people. Live and let live. Thank you and drive through. :-)
Why don’t you believe in God? I get that question all the time. I always try to give a sensitive, reasoned answer. This is usually awkward, time consuming and pointless. People who believe in God don’t need proof of his existence, and they certainly don’t want evidence to the contrary. They are happy with their belief. They even say things like “it’s true to me” and “it’s faith.” I still give my logical answer because I feel that not being honest would be patronizing and impolite. It is ironic therefore that “I don’t believe in God because there is absolutely no scientific evidence for his existence and from what I’ve heard the very definition is a logical impossibility in this known universe,” comes across as both patronizing and impolite.
[UPDATE: For more from Gervais, go to Does God Exist? Ricky Gervais Takes Your Questions]
Arrogance is another accusation. Which seems particularly unfair. Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence -- evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition. If it did, you wouldn’t get a shot of penicillin, you’d pop a leach down your trousers and pray. Whatever you “believe,” this is not as effective as medicine. Again you can say, “It works for me,” but so do placebos. My point being, I’m saying God doesn’t exist. I’m not saying faith doesn’t exist. I know faith exists. I see it all the time. But believing in something doesn’t make it true. Hoping that something is true doesn’t make it true. The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.
Why don’t I believe in God? No, no no, why do YOU believe in God? Surely the burden of proof is on the believer. You started all this. If I came up to you and said, “Why don’t you believe I can fly?” You’d say, “Why would I?” I’d reply, “Because it’s a matter of faith.” If I then said, “Prove I can’t fly. Prove I can’t fly see, see, you can’t prove it can you?” You’d probably either walk away, call security or throw me out of the window and shout, ‘’F—ing fly then you lunatic.”
This, is of course a spirituality issue, religion is a different matter. As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a god. I don’t think there is a god, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a god. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different god, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are. From what I can gather, pretty much the worst type of person you can be is an atheist. The first four commandments hammer this point home. There is a god, I’m him, no one else is, you’re not as good and don’t forget it. (Don’t murder anyone, doesn’t get a mention till number 6.)
When confronted with anyone who holds my lack of religious faith in such contempt, I say, “It’s the way God made me.”
But what are atheists really being accused of?
The dictionary definition of God is “a supernatural creator and overseer of the universe.” Included in this definition are all deities, goddesses and supernatural beings. Since the beginning of recorded history, which is defined by the invention of writing by the Sumerians around 6,000 years ago, historians have cataloged over 3700 supernatural beings, of which 2870 can be considered deities.
So next time someone tells me they believe in God, I’ll say “Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?…” If they say “Just God. I only believe in the one God,” I’ll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don’t believe in 2,870 gods, and they don’t believe in 2,869.
I used to believe in God. The Christian one that is.
I loved Jesus. He was my hero. More than pop stars. More than footballers. More than God. God was by definition omnipotent and perfect. Jesus was a man. He had to work at it. He had temptation but defeated sin. He had integrity and courage. But He was my hero because He was kind. And He was kind to everyone. He didn’t bow to peer pressure or tyranny or cruelty. He didn’t care who you were. He loved you. What a guy. I wanted to be just like Him.
One day when I was about 8 years old, I was drawing the crucifixion as part of my Bible studies homework. I loved art too. And nature. I loved how God made all the animals. They were also perfect. Unconditionally beautiful. It was an amazing world.
I lived in a very poor, working-class estate in an urban sprawl called Reading, about 40 miles west of London. My father was a laborer and my mother was a housewife. I was never ashamed of poverty. It was almost noble. Also, everyone I knew was in the same situation, and I had everything I needed. School was free. My clothes were cheap and always clean and ironed. And mum was always cooking. She was cooking the day I was drawing on the cross.
I was sitting at the kitchen table when my brother came home. He was 11 years older than me, so he would have been 19. He was as smart as anyone I knew, but he was too cheeky. He would answer back and get into trouble. I was a good boy. I went to church and believed in God -– what a relief for a working-class mother. You see, growing up where I did, mums didn’t hope as high as their kids growing up to be doctors; they just hoped their kids didn’t go to jail. So bring them up believing in God and they’ll be good and law abiding. It’s a perfect system. Well, nearly. 75 percent of Americans are God-‐fearing Christians; 75 percent of prisoners are God-‐fearing Christians. 10 percent of Americans are atheists; 0.2 percent of prisoners are atheists.
But anyway, there I was happily drawing my hero when my big brother Bob asked, “Why do you believe in God?” Just a simple question. But my mum panicked. “Bob,” she said in a tone that I knew meant, “Shut up.” Why was that a bad thing to ask? If there was a God and my faith was strong it didn’t matter what people said.
Oh…hang on. There is no God. He knows it, and she knows it deep down. It was as simple as that. I started thinking about it and asking more questions, and within an hour, I was an atheist.
Wow. No God. If mum had lied to me about God, had she also lied to me about Santa? Yes, of course, but who cares? The gifts kept coming. And so did the gifts of my new found atheism. The gifts of truth, science, nature. The real beauty of this world. I learned of evolution -– a theory so simple that only England’s greatest genius could have come up with it. Evolution of plants, animals and us –- with imagination, free will, love, humor. I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer and pizza are all good enough reasons for living.
But living an honest life -– for that you need the truth. That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.
So what does the question “Why don’t you believe in God?” really mean. I think when someone asks that they are really questioning their own belief. In a way they are asking “what makes you so special? “How come you weren’t brainwashed with the rest of us?” “How dare you say I’m a fool and I’m not going to heaven, f— you!” Let’s be honest, if one person believed in God he would be considered pretty strange. But because it’s a very popular view it’s accepted. And why is it such a popular view? That’s obvious. It’s an attractive proposition. Believe in me and live forever. Again if it was just a case of spirituality this would be fine.
“Do unto others…” is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is -‐ a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell.”
You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
I really love the last line. Your motives for being good should not be because you are worried about AFTER you die. Be good now. Do it because you want to be a good person NOW. Do it to be nice because it is the right thing to do. I also agree that the Bible is a good moral code. I think at the time that it was written, a book of its nature was needed. If God had actually written it, and not men, then I believe that certain thoughts would not have been missed, and others would not have been in there at all. Petty issues, such as "contempt for neighbors belongings" over harm to children, or rape, or speaking of God being jealous, an emotion that even humans can overcome. And exactly why couldn't Jesus have been married? Who would that have harmed? These things make no sense to me.
I think it is best to not put all of your reasons and hope into what someone else is telling you to believe. Most religions are based on the teachings of someone who just made things up as they went along. Not good. Just take a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. I have read up on most religions. They all have something to offer. It is when you get too wrapped up in it, that you get into trouble. Too much of anything is bad. Too much fat, too much sugar, too much Jesus. None of this is good. Moderation. Always a good thought.
Just breathe people. Sit back, do what is right. Stop treating those around you like dirt under your shoes. Not one single person on this planet is better than anyone else. Wait...maybe a few are cracked. You know what I mean though. Don't try to take away the basic rights of anyone simply because they are different. Don't try to FORCE your beliefs on someone else, because you damn well know you hate it when they try to do that to you. Don't sit around and believe that your faith is the one and only. That's a load of crap. How arrogant do you really have to be to believe that? Get over it people. Live and let live. Thank you and drive through. :-)
Friday, February 11, 2011
~Survey Says~
I haven't had much spare time lately to write anything, and tonight, I am wide awake. Carl is sleeping and snoring away next to me, and I couldn't fall asleep no matter what, so I read a couple of things online, then I glanced at some posts on my Facebook. One in particular made me think about some things, and I got up and brought in my laptop, and here I am, typing away at 12:30am, while "Zombieland" plays on our TV, for about the 20th time. Yeah, we like this movie...a lot.
I am sincerely hoping for honest responses to this, because it is something that is very personal to me, being that it has actually happened to me. It is also something that has occurred in Carl's life, and affects him quite profoundly, and I really struggle with why, and how it can possibly continue when it must surely be very well known that it is morally wrong, and hurtful to do.
How is it that a parent can so easily, so passively, so calmly, turn their back on their own child, for such a simple, or stupid reason, and never look back? How can a parent deny their own child because of an argument? How can a parent or grandparent deny the existence of a child or grandchild because they are worried about what the neighbors might think, or because their church forced and adoption? I am just amazed at some of the stories I have heard, because I know others that have gone through problems with this. It happens entirely too much, and I see and I hear of families being torn apart over the most ridiculous things, yet other find ways to stick together through addictions, and murder, and abuse, and horrific conditions. ???
In my case, it has been very confusing, yet not so surprising, all at the same time. My parents were very dysfunctional as parents, and as man and wife. The physical and mental abuse was enough to cause damage beyond repair. There had been such damage in my fathers past from his parents, so I don't really think he ever knew how to really show emotion, or how to be a father. He never talked to me, he never showed concern, or emotion, or really did anything except go to work, come home, sit in his chair, and watch TV. Then of course, he was the one to discipline us, so he played that role. When I got married, and wound up in a very abusive situation, my parents pretty much reacted completely opposite to what most parents would. They did nothing. My mother told me to stay. My father did absolutely nothing to protect me. There were no "I will kill him if he ever hits my daughter again!!". No...not for me. No, when I got divorced, I was told, I was dead to them. I was pronounced dead. Yay....
Carl became a father when he was a teenager, and was pretty shocked, since he learned of this on the day that Claire was born. He was informed that he would be signing adoption papers, and that was that. She was placed with a family, and Carl, being a minor himself, really had no say in the matter. Over the years, he has had contact with her through letters, and pictures. All of this time, Carl has never hidden the fact that he is a father. He carries her picture in his wallet. Her picture is on our living room wall. His family, however, acts like they have no idea of her existence. When he tried, as a teen, to speak to his Grandfather about Claire, his Grandfather told him to NEVER tell his Grandmother. Carl was broken hearted. When Carl's mother came to visit us, she saw Claire's picture on our wall, and didn't say one single word. She simply acted like she had no idea who it was. Carl has explained to me that this is part of their faith. Again, I don't get it. My brother and his wife have acted in this manner as well. They get angry with someone, cut them off. Get mad at me...I am dead. It's okay. I am not a person. I am nobody. I am not someone who attends their church, so I don't matter. Most religions condemn Judas for denying Christ, but yet they can go around and deny or disrespect their own family members? How is this alright? Sounds like good old hypocrisy to me.
Is this kind of behavior even necessary? It causes so much pain and agony. It causes resentment, and anger, and anguish. Suicide, addiction, depression...all of these can result from such things. Why would family treat you this way? I have been treated in a kinder manner by total strangers than I have by my own parents. Do you have any idea what that does to a person? Do you have any idea how a person suffers when they know that their parents, their mother, their father, looks on them with such discontent? Such hate? To be denied, to be thrown away like that...it is something that burns you every single day of your life. It is a hurt that you never can recover from. No amount of therapy, or hugs, or "it's going to be okay", can ever make it better. You always wonder "what in the hell did I ever do to you?"
How can these people walk around and look themselves in the mirror? How can any of them believe in their hearts that they have been good people, good parents? To be such a selfish, cruel and insensitive ass....to inflict that kind of pain on your own family....really? For what purpose?
I am sincerely hoping for honest responses to this, because it is something that is very personal to me, being that it has actually happened to me. It is also something that has occurred in Carl's life, and affects him quite profoundly, and I really struggle with why, and how it can possibly continue when it must surely be very well known that it is morally wrong, and hurtful to do.
How is it that a parent can so easily, so passively, so calmly, turn their back on their own child, for such a simple, or stupid reason, and never look back? How can a parent deny their own child because of an argument? How can a parent or grandparent deny the existence of a child or grandchild because they are worried about what the neighbors might think, or because their church forced and adoption? I am just amazed at some of the stories I have heard, because I know others that have gone through problems with this. It happens entirely too much, and I see and I hear of families being torn apart over the most ridiculous things, yet other find ways to stick together through addictions, and murder, and abuse, and horrific conditions. ???
In my case, it has been very confusing, yet not so surprising, all at the same time. My parents were very dysfunctional as parents, and as man and wife. The physical and mental abuse was enough to cause damage beyond repair. There had been such damage in my fathers past from his parents, so I don't really think he ever knew how to really show emotion, or how to be a father. He never talked to me, he never showed concern, or emotion, or really did anything except go to work, come home, sit in his chair, and watch TV. Then of course, he was the one to discipline us, so he played that role. When I got married, and wound up in a very abusive situation, my parents pretty much reacted completely opposite to what most parents would. They did nothing. My mother told me to stay. My father did absolutely nothing to protect me. There were no "I will kill him if he ever hits my daughter again!!". No...not for me. No, when I got divorced, I was told, I was dead to them. I was pronounced dead. Yay....
Carl became a father when he was a teenager, and was pretty shocked, since he learned of this on the day that Claire was born. He was informed that he would be signing adoption papers, and that was that. She was placed with a family, and Carl, being a minor himself, really had no say in the matter. Over the years, he has had contact with her through letters, and pictures. All of this time, Carl has never hidden the fact that he is a father. He carries her picture in his wallet. Her picture is on our living room wall. His family, however, acts like they have no idea of her existence. When he tried, as a teen, to speak to his Grandfather about Claire, his Grandfather told him to NEVER tell his Grandmother. Carl was broken hearted. When Carl's mother came to visit us, she saw Claire's picture on our wall, and didn't say one single word. She simply acted like she had no idea who it was. Carl has explained to me that this is part of their faith. Again, I don't get it. My brother and his wife have acted in this manner as well. They get angry with someone, cut them off. Get mad at me...I am dead. It's okay. I am not a person. I am nobody. I am not someone who attends their church, so I don't matter. Most religions condemn Judas for denying Christ, but yet they can go around and deny or disrespect their own family members? How is this alright? Sounds like good old hypocrisy to me.
Is this kind of behavior even necessary? It causes so much pain and agony. It causes resentment, and anger, and anguish. Suicide, addiction, depression...all of these can result from such things. Why would family treat you this way? I have been treated in a kinder manner by total strangers than I have by my own parents. Do you have any idea what that does to a person? Do you have any idea how a person suffers when they know that their parents, their mother, their father, looks on them with such discontent? Such hate? To be denied, to be thrown away like that...it is something that burns you every single day of your life. It is a hurt that you never can recover from. No amount of therapy, or hugs, or "it's going to be okay", can ever make it better. You always wonder "what in the hell did I ever do to you?"
How can these people walk around and look themselves in the mirror? How can any of them believe in their hearts that they have been good people, good parents? To be such a selfish, cruel and insensitive ass....to inflict that kind of pain on your own family....really? For what purpose?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
~Right over righteous~
~I recently began reading quite a few of articles and posts from Anne Rice, largely due to the fact that I came across her Facebook page. I find her very fascinating, and extremely intelligent. She writes on so many subjects, and in this day of "celebrity worship", I find her articles refreshing, and much more interesting than "Penelope Cruz has on same dress as Miley Cyrus! Who wore it better?" Ugh....
This article this morning caught my eye. This was from the NY Times.com.
The hospital’s offense? It had terminated a pregnancy to save the life of the mother. The hospital says the 27-year-old woman, a mother of four children, would almost certainly have died otherwise.
Bishop Olmsted initially excommunicated a nun, Sister Margaret McBride, who had been on the hospital’s ethics committee and had approved of the decision. That seems to have been a failed attempt to bully the hospital into submission, but it refused to cave and continues to employ Sister Margaret. Now the bishop, in effect, is excommunicating the entire hospital — all because it saved a woman’s life.
Make no mistake: This clash of values is a bellwether of a profound disagreement that is playing out at many Catholic hospitals around the country. These hospitals are part of the backbone of American health care, amounting to 15 percent of hospital beds.
Already in Bend, Ore., last year, a bishop ended the church’s official relationship with St. Charles Medical Center for making tubal ligation sterilizations available to women who requested them. And two Catholic hospitals in Texas halted tubal ligations at the insistence of the local bishop in Tyler.
The National Women’s Law Center has just issued a report quoting doctors at Catholic-affiliated hospitals as saying that sometimes they are forced by church doctrine to provide substandard care to women with miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies in ways that can leave the women infertile or even endanger their lives. More clashes are likely as the church hierarchy grows more conservative, and as hospitals and laity grow more impatient with bishops who seem increasingly out of touch.
Catholic hospitals like St. Joseph’s that are evicted by the church continue to operate largely as before. The main consequence is that Mass can no longer be said in the hospital chapel. Thomas C. Fox, the editor of National Catholic Reporter, noted regretfully that a hospital with deep Catholic roots like St. Joseph’s now cannot celebrate Mass, while airport chapels can. Mr. Fox added: “Olmsted’s moral certitude is lifeless, leaving no place for compassionate Christianity.”
To me, this battle illuminates two rival religious approaches, within the Catholic church and any spiritual tradition. One approach focuses upon dogma, sanctity, rules and the punishment of sinners. The other exalts compassion for the needy and mercy for sinners — and, perhaps, above all, inclusiveness.
The thought that keeps nagging at me is this: If you look at Bishop Olmsted and Sister Margaret as the protagonists in this battle, one of them truly seems to me to have emulated the life of Jesus. And it’s not the bishop, who has spent much of his adult life as a Vatican bureaucrat climbing the career ladder. It’s Sister Margaret, who like so many nuns has toiled for decades on behalf of the neediest and sickest among us.
Then along comes Bishop Olmsted to excommunicate the Christ-like figure in our story. If Jesus were around today, he might sue the bishop for defamation.
Yet in this battle, it’s fascinating how much support St. Joseph’s Hospital has had and how firmly it has pushed back — in effect, pounding 95 theses on the bishop’s door. The hospital backed up Sister Margaret, and it rejected the bishop’s demand that it never again terminate a pregnancy to save the life of a mother.
“St. Joseph’s will continue through our words and deeds to carry out the healing ministry of Jesus,” said Linda Hunt, the hospital president. “Our operations, policies, and procedures will not change.” The Catholic Health Association of the United States, a network of Catholic hospitals around the country, stood squarely behind St. Joseph’s.
Anne Rice, the author and a commentator on Catholicism, sees a potential turning point. “St. Joseph’s refusal to knuckle under to the bishop is huge,” she told me, adding: “Maybe rank-and-file Catholics are finally talking back to a hierarchy that long ago deserted them.”
With the Vatican seemingly as deaf and remote as it was in 1517, some Catholics at the grass roots are pushing to recover their faith. Jamie L. Manson, the same columnist for National Catholic Reporter who proclaimed that Jesus had been “evicted,” also argued powerfully that many ordinary Catholics have reached a breaking point and that St. Joseph’s heralds a new vision of Catholicism: “Though they will be denied the opportunity to celebrate the Eucharist, the Eucharist will rise out of St. Joseph’s every time the sick are healed, the frightened are comforted, the lonely are visited, the weak are fed, and vigil is kept over the dying.”
Hallelujah.
Sigh....
Okay. So, where to begin? This is what is truly wrong with religion, all religions. They are controlled and run by men. Men who become hungry for power. It is the control of other people that eventually takes over their good judgment. It is no longer about "faith" or God, it is about the power over people.
Men have faults. Men make mistakes. At their core, they will do it time and time again. This is why we are meant to learn, and to educate ourselves. To try to learn from these mistakes, and to better ourselves. Some just don't want to do this. I always found it baffling that the Ten Commandments had such rules as "Honor thy Mother and Father" but no "Mother and Father, don't beat your children" or "Parents don't molest your children" or "Thou shall not rape" or maybe "Honor your spouse, don't punch them in the face". Okay, so I don't use such eloquent words, but you know what I mean. Why is it that any of those is not listed but don't you dare think about wanting that SUV that your neighbor is driving? (That's the whole "covet" thing, that I'm pretty sure every single human being commits on a daily basis, no matter how "holy" they "think" they are). It's just ridiculous. The reason? Because MEN wrote them. Men wrote them at a time when it was necessary to come up with decent and needed moral codes and laws to have for society at a time in history when those things seemed pretty important. Human beings had not evolved enough to know that maybe they should think this through...and these tablets would be taken so literally, so maybe some more thought should be put into their content.
This entire issue of abortion always causes people to get their panties in a wad. My thoughts on it won't make any difference to anyone. The one last issue would always come down to "what if that was your wife?" What if that was your daughter in that situation? Cause I guarantee in that moment, when a doctor is telling you that a choice now needs to be made, your daughters life, or an abortion, your thoughts, your emotions, everything changes. You can't help it. If it was your wife. Would you be willing to sit there and sign a paper, and have your wife die? The truth is, in those moments, no one knows. It is not right for another human being to come in and tell someone that they are not allowed to make that decision for themselves. It's not THEIR life that will be directly affected forever by that decision. Who exactly is your minister at that moment? Who exactly is your Priest? In all honesty, just another guy...just another human being. Because in the end, it is you. If you believe in God, then it's between you and your God. It's not up to anyone to make that kind of decision to tell you that a life must perish over what THEY believe. Then to turn around, to act like a common bully and to kick everyone out of the church for supporting the hospital for saving a life? Really? For doing exactly what a hospital is supposed to do? Again, simply baffling.
Religion really must die for the human race to continue. It is no longer about faith. It is no longer about God. It is corrupt. It is immoral. It is now simply about power, and control. Most who are very deep in their churches can't see that, and those are the ones who I am afraid for. You have lost the ability to live your own life. I am not saying don't believe in God, which is usually the first defensive attack. The screaming begins, and they are so, so angry. Another reaction that baffles me. I am simply saying, you don't need four walls, and a man standing before you to believe whatever it is you believe. Think for yourself. God doesn't need your money. God doesn't need anything from you. All that has ever been expected of people, in my belief, is for them to show that they have the ability to think for themselves. To live, to breathe, and to continue to evolve and be better. God wouldn't kick out a dying woman, lying in a hospital bed, from his church, would he? God wouldn't kick out all the members of a hospital, who cares for the poor and the sick. Are these really the actions of the holy?
If you really want to be closer to the God that you believe in, stop following the word of men. If you really want to be closer to the God that you believe in, stop listening to men, they are not him. Men, are not God. They are just men.
This article this morning caught my eye. This was from the NY Times.com.
Tussling Over Jesus
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
The National Catholic Reporter newspaper put it best: “Just days before Christians celebrated Christmas, Jesus got evicted.”
Yet the person giving Jesus the heave-ho in this case was not a Bethlehem innkeeper. Nor was it an overzealous mayor angering conservatives by pulling down Christmas decorations. Rather, it was a prominent bishop, Thomas Olmsted, stripping St. Joseph’s Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix of its affiliation with the Roman Catholic diocese. The hospital’s offense? It had terminated a pregnancy to save the life of the mother. The hospital says the 27-year-old woman, a mother of four children, would almost certainly have died otherwise.
Bishop Olmsted initially excommunicated a nun, Sister Margaret McBride, who had been on the hospital’s ethics committee and had approved of the decision. That seems to have been a failed attempt to bully the hospital into submission, but it refused to cave and continues to employ Sister Margaret. Now the bishop, in effect, is excommunicating the entire hospital — all because it saved a woman’s life.
Make no mistake: This clash of values is a bellwether of a profound disagreement that is playing out at many Catholic hospitals around the country. These hospitals are part of the backbone of American health care, amounting to 15 percent of hospital beds.
Already in Bend, Ore., last year, a bishop ended the church’s official relationship with St. Charles Medical Center for making tubal ligation sterilizations available to women who requested them. And two Catholic hospitals in Texas halted tubal ligations at the insistence of the local bishop in Tyler.
The National Women’s Law Center has just issued a report quoting doctors at Catholic-affiliated hospitals as saying that sometimes they are forced by church doctrine to provide substandard care to women with miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies in ways that can leave the women infertile or even endanger their lives. More clashes are likely as the church hierarchy grows more conservative, and as hospitals and laity grow more impatient with bishops who seem increasingly out of touch.
Catholic hospitals like St. Joseph’s that are evicted by the church continue to operate largely as before. The main consequence is that Mass can no longer be said in the hospital chapel. Thomas C. Fox, the editor of National Catholic Reporter, noted regretfully that a hospital with deep Catholic roots like St. Joseph’s now cannot celebrate Mass, while airport chapels can. Mr. Fox added: “Olmsted’s moral certitude is lifeless, leaving no place for compassionate Christianity.”
To me, this battle illuminates two rival religious approaches, within the Catholic church and any spiritual tradition. One approach focuses upon dogma, sanctity, rules and the punishment of sinners. The other exalts compassion for the needy and mercy for sinners — and, perhaps, above all, inclusiveness.
The thought that keeps nagging at me is this: If you look at Bishop Olmsted and Sister Margaret as the protagonists in this battle, one of them truly seems to me to have emulated the life of Jesus. And it’s not the bishop, who has spent much of his adult life as a Vatican bureaucrat climbing the career ladder. It’s Sister Margaret, who like so many nuns has toiled for decades on behalf of the neediest and sickest among us.
Then along comes Bishop Olmsted to excommunicate the Christ-like figure in our story. If Jesus were around today, he might sue the bishop for defamation.
Yet in this battle, it’s fascinating how much support St. Joseph’s Hospital has had and how firmly it has pushed back — in effect, pounding 95 theses on the bishop’s door. The hospital backed up Sister Margaret, and it rejected the bishop’s demand that it never again terminate a pregnancy to save the life of a mother.
“St. Joseph’s will continue through our words and deeds to carry out the healing ministry of Jesus,” said Linda Hunt, the hospital president. “Our operations, policies, and procedures will not change.” The Catholic Health Association of the United States, a network of Catholic hospitals around the country, stood squarely behind St. Joseph’s.
Anne Rice, the author and a commentator on Catholicism, sees a potential turning point. “St. Joseph’s refusal to knuckle under to the bishop is huge,” she told me, adding: “Maybe rank-and-file Catholics are finally talking back to a hierarchy that long ago deserted them.”
With the Vatican seemingly as deaf and remote as it was in 1517, some Catholics at the grass roots are pushing to recover their faith. Jamie L. Manson, the same columnist for National Catholic Reporter who proclaimed that Jesus had been “evicted,” also argued powerfully that many ordinary Catholics have reached a breaking point and that St. Joseph’s heralds a new vision of Catholicism: “Though they will be denied the opportunity to celebrate the Eucharist, the Eucharist will rise out of St. Joseph’s every time the sick are healed, the frightened are comforted, the lonely are visited, the weak are fed, and vigil is kept over the dying.”
Hallelujah.
Sigh....
Okay. So, where to begin? This is what is truly wrong with religion, all religions. They are controlled and run by men. Men who become hungry for power. It is the control of other people that eventually takes over their good judgment. It is no longer about "faith" or God, it is about the power over people.
Men have faults. Men make mistakes. At their core, they will do it time and time again. This is why we are meant to learn, and to educate ourselves. To try to learn from these mistakes, and to better ourselves. Some just don't want to do this. I always found it baffling that the Ten Commandments had such rules as "Honor thy Mother and Father" but no "Mother and Father, don't beat your children" or "Parents don't molest your children" or "Thou shall not rape" or maybe "Honor your spouse, don't punch them in the face". Okay, so I don't use such eloquent words, but you know what I mean. Why is it that any of those is not listed but don't you dare think about wanting that SUV that your neighbor is driving? (That's the whole "covet" thing, that I'm pretty sure every single human being commits on a daily basis, no matter how "holy" they "think" they are). It's just ridiculous. The reason? Because MEN wrote them. Men wrote them at a time when it was necessary to come up with decent and needed moral codes and laws to have for society at a time in history when those things seemed pretty important. Human beings had not evolved enough to know that maybe they should think this through...and these tablets would be taken so literally, so maybe some more thought should be put into their content.
This entire issue of abortion always causes people to get their panties in a wad. My thoughts on it won't make any difference to anyone. The one last issue would always come down to "what if that was your wife?" What if that was your daughter in that situation? Cause I guarantee in that moment, when a doctor is telling you that a choice now needs to be made, your daughters life, or an abortion, your thoughts, your emotions, everything changes. You can't help it. If it was your wife. Would you be willing to sit there and sign a paper, and have your wife die? The truth is, in those moments, no one knows. It is not right for another human being to come in and tell someone that they are not allowed to make that decision for themselves. It's not THEIR life that will be directly affected forever by that decision. Who exactly is your minister at that moment? Who exactly is your Priest? In all honesty, just another guy...just another human being. Because in the end, it is you. If you believe in God, then it's between you and your God. It's not up to anyone to make that kind of decision to tell you that a life must perish over what THEY believe. Then to turn around, to act like a common bully and to kick everyone out of the church for supporting the hospital for saving a life? Really? For doing exactly what a hospital is supposed to do? Again, simply baffling.
Religion really must die for the human race to continue. It is no longer about faith. It is no longer about God. It is corrupt. It is immoral. It is now simply about power, and control. Most who are very deep in their churches can't see that, and those are the ones who I am afraid for. You have lost the ability to live your own life. I am not saying don't believe in God, which is usually the first defensive attack. The screaming begins, and they are so, so angry. Another reaction that baffles me. I am simply saying, you don't need four walls, and a man standing before you to believe whatever it is you believe. Think for yourself. God doesn't need your money. God doesn't need anything from you. All that has ever been expected of people, in my belief, is for them to show that they have the ability to think for themselves. To live, to breathe, and to continue to evolve and be better. God wouldn't kick out a dying woman, lying in a hospital bed, from his church, would he? God wouldn't kick out all the members of a hospital, who cares for the poor and the sick. Are these really the actions of the holy?
If you really want to be closer to the God that you believe in, stop following the word of men. If you really want to be closer to the God that you believe in, stop listening to men, they are not him. Men, are not God. They are just men.
Monday, January 24, 2011
~Outside of the Herd~
How f***ing sacred is this person who's never contributed one thing to anyone's life but her own? And not even thinking about her politically or whatever she represents, it's just that she's just a coarse, selfish person who has ferocious protection and it makes no sense to me... By the way, I said something that I think is true, I wrote one Twitter that I said, please find me a picture of Sarah Palin with more than one black person because I couldn't find one. And then she went to Haiti a week later. She threw together a trip to Haiti. So I believe I made that happen. So that's positive.
Louis CK, Talking about Sarah Palin.
Amazing how some people in the media are so protected and full of themselves that they not only believe their own crap, but have otherwise rational people believing it as well. It really bothers me that my brother and sister in law really like Sarah Palin. Terrifies me actually. That woman is dangerous. It just goes to show you how everyone really has lost their damn minds.
I am not quite sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, it suddenly became "politically incorrect" to think for yourself. Maybe it was during those selfish indulgent 80's when everyone became so obsessed with BMW's and shoes, and all the girls became label whores. You just weren't good enough if you didn't drool over the right clothes, or the right make up. Um, what? I find that really hysterical. I never gave a shit about any of that. I still don't. It all started to happen though. People started becoming sheep. Now look at them. Can't even open their mouths without worrying about offending this person, or that person. Can you say you don't like this...oh, don't. You might not fit in. Can you say you don't believe that? Oh, whatever you do, don't do that! You might be suddenly cut off and outcast. No longer is it held in high regard to be an individual. Now, you MUST think as "they" do. You MUST believe as others do. You MUST go along with the pressure of others wishes, or face the rath.
Fuck that....
This is why I like Louis CK. See, he knows that coming out and saying these things against Sarah Palin get him into trouble. He has even faced many threats from people with power. Pathetic. Apparently, free speech is only allowed if you follow guidelines. The narrow minded and self righteous masses that feel the need to
"save" us from our doom seem to forget that we have every right to our own damn opinions and feelings. Louis CK has every right to say Sarah Palin is full of shit. She is. People are always afraid of opinions that don't go along with theirs. It's right back to the school yard. Good old fashioned peer pressure. They will label you a loud mouth, or obnoxious, or opinionated, (I happen to take that one as a compliment), or any other term they may deem insulting to try to get you to stop. Well, don't.
How boring would the world be if it was all gray? The more eclectic, the more fascinating and exciting it becomes. The more we have to learn, explore, and enjoy. I don't want to be around people who all think alike. I enjoy listening to Louis CK and his opinions. I enjoy listening to lots of people and their opinions. I try to learn from everyone I know. I don't want to live in a bubble. I want to get a very open and honest education of what our world really has to offer. Our little country, and the population it contains, is just one small part. it is by far, NOT the greatest, or the most superior on this planet, and how arrogant of any man to say so. I prefer to be humble, and explore other countries and cultures, religions, beliefs, customs, histories, all that is out there. If that makes me obnoxious, opinionated, and a loud mouth, so be it.
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin still won't have more than 2 pictures of herself with a black person, and Louis CK will have something she never had. Great ratings for a TV show.
Louis CK, Talking about Sarah Palin.
Amazing how some people in the media are so protected and full of themselves that they not only believe their own crap, but have otherwise rational people believing it as well. It really bothers me that my brother and sister in law really like Sarah Palin. Terrifies me actually. That woman is dangerous. It just goes to show you how everyone really has lost their damn minds.
I am not quite sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, it suddenly became "politically incorrect" to think for yourself. Maybe it was during those selfish indulgent 80's when everyone became so obsessed with BMW's and shoes, and all the girls became label whores. You just weren't good enough if you didn't drool over the right clothes, or the right make up. Um, what? I find that really hysterical. I never gave a shit about any of that. I still don't. It all started to happen though. People started becoming sheep. Now look at them. Can't even open their mouths without worrying about offending this person, or that person. Can you say you don't like this...oh, don't. You might not fit in. Can you say you don't believe that? Oh, whatever you do, don't do that! You might be suddenly cut off and outcast. No longer is it held in high regard to be an individual. Now, you MUST think as "they" do. You MUST believe as others do. You MUST go along with the pressure of others wishes, or face the rath.
Fuck that....
This is why I like Louis CK. See, he knows that coming out and saying these things against Sarah Palin get him into trouble. He has even faced many threats from people with power. Pathetic. Apparently, free speech is only allowed if you follow guidelines. The narrow minded and self righteous masses that feel the need to
"save" us from our doom seem to forget that we have every right to our own damn opinions and feelings. Louis CK has every right to say Sarah Palin is full of shit. She is. People are always afraid of opinions that don't go along with theirs. It's right back to the school yard. Good old fashioned peer pressure. They will label you a loud mouth, or obnoxious, or opinionated, (I happen to take that one as a compliment), or any other term they may deem insulting to try to get you to stop. Well, don't.
How boring would the world be if it was all gray? The more eclectic, the more fascinating and exciting it becomes. The more we have to learn, explore, and enjoy. I don't want to be around people who all think alike. I enjoy listening to Louis CK and his opinions. I enjoy listening to lots of people and their opinions. I try to learn from everyone I know. I don't want to live in a bubble. I want to get a very open and honest education of what our world really has to offer. Our little country, and the population it contains, is just one small part. it is by far, NOT the greatest, or the most superior on this planet, and how arrogant of any man to say so. I prefer to be humble, and explore other countries and cultures, religions, beliefs, customs, histories, all that is out there. If that makes me obnoxious, opinionated, and a loud mouth, so be it.
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin still won't have more than 2 pictures of herself with a black person, and Louis CK will have something she never had. Great ratings for a TV show.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
~Jerry Springer, Live~
When you have mild insomnia, any sleep, even if it's 30 minutes, can seem like heaven. Your so amazed that you even got that much, that when you wake up, your almost in shock that you actually feel alseep in the first place. It also tends to infuriate you instantly when this precious sleep is disturbed. Allow me to share my recent experience with said furious anger....
Last night, it was approximately 11pm, and I was startled by the noise. At first, my thinking was, "why in the hell are they arguing?". See, when I had gone to lie down in the room, with all five of the pups in tow, Carl and Mark were in the living room playing Xbox and as they often do, very enthusiastically going on their killing sprees with great emotion. This is has become their bonding experience as of late, and they have seemed to found a common ground of yelling, stomping, laughing, and shooting zombies together that makes me smile. They never argue. They get along really well. Hence, my confusion as to all of the yelling that woke me.
I come out into our living room to find our front door open and all of the chaos issuing. Mark was at the door, Carl was standing directly behind him, and at the door, was our glorious neighbor from upstairs, with four of her oh so polite and as glorious counter parts, whom I am assuming she brought along for "moral support". Two girls, and two guys, all screaming with her at the top of their lungs. Trying to make sense of what was going on, I caught on pretty quickly. We have been having problems from the moment they moved in. The girl is quite young, maybe 20, with 2 small children, and her maturity level is probably at the same as her offspring. Not too sure of the other occupants of the apartment. What is confirmed is that they pretty much run around with the energy of a herd of elephants, and at times, it feels like they are going to come through our ceiling. Pounding back does no good, as they "stomp" back in some sort of game. My question has always been, "Where are they going?". The apartment is only so big, and after one or two laps, haven't you seen all there is to see? Then there is the dog...the ever barking out on the patio till all hours, never been walked EVER dog....so...after complaints to the office, after trying to talk to them, and so on, and so on....A note was placed on their door, because said dog was left out on patio, for over 24 hours, barking all of 24 hours, while neighbor was out of town. Note said specifically, "Your dog has been barking now since 5pm, and has not stopped. You never walk your poor dog, and it is freezing outside. Please take care of your dog or animal control will be called. Be considerate of your neighbors. Some of us work graveyard, or have to be up very early, and can't sleep because of the constant barking."
This was 3 days ago. Apparently, she had time to sit and plan, and plot her next move, which was to get a "posse" for back up, and wait until 11pm at night, and come to our door like common thugs.
The screaming is continuing. "Who the fuck put this note on my fucking door?"
Mark/Carl - "WE put the note on your door"
Girl-"You messed with the wrong mutha fuckin people! now what! now what!"
Carl- "Keep your dog quiet! Tell your dog to shut the fuck up!"
Girl- "Its a dog...it's a dog."
Mark-"Back up...you need to back up." (This was because they started trying to come IN OUR APARTMENT)
This is when I am getting pissed, and really fed up. I tell Mark to shut the door. The girl, who keeps yelling, and carrying on, screams at me, not sure what she said, is pushing Mark. I yell at Mark to shut the door and I am calling the police. This is when the girl SWINGS AT ME trying to hit me. Mark is in front of me, and says, "are you out of your fucking mind?"
Me-"WHO ARE YOU SWINGING AT? Mark SHUT THE DOOR!"
Girl-"Ya'll harrassin us by puttin this note on my door."
Mark- "No, see, now I'm going to give you an education. This note is what is called a warning. Now, the police are coming, and they are going to explain to you that you are now what is called the "PRIMARY AGGRESSOR, and now your all going to go to jail. So go ahead, show them this note. We did exactly what we are supposed to do in this situation. Now, you came down here, acting stupid, trying to push your way in here, making threats, your gonna go to jail."
Mark pushes me in the apartment, "Go inside Mom, go inside". I am on the phone with the dispatcher, who is listening to all of this on the phone. She won't let me hang up, because she can hear them, and knows they are trying to come in our apartment. The guy starts yelling at Carl, saying "You gotta go to work! We gonna getcha...you gotta go to work!" Carl starts yelling back, "I'm right here mother fucker, I'm right here", I push him back, shut our door. Geez us....Now, my son is out on the porch with these idiots, who, by the way, are just running their mouths and saying they are gonna get a "pump" (gun) cause apparently they are soooo tough. Really??? Really??? I open the door so the dispatcher can hear if they are still there. They are. Mark says, "See, the cops can hear every word you are saying. The guy goes upstairs. Reality hits. Carl pissed off the girl something awful, cause they are threatening that they known when we work, and are gonna mess up our trucks, break in our apartment, so he yells about her being on section 8.....
Then the cops come.
Oh, but officer, we didn't yell at them. We tried to go down and talk to them nicely. We never swung at anyone. Oh officer, I am so hurt. That awful man down there said I am on section 8. I am a poor, single mom. Oh, officer, I am so upset. They are so mean for putting this note on my door. Oh officer...what? You don't believer me? Oh officer...I am gonna get a $1100 fine? They had the entire thing on the phone with a dispatcher, and they are upstanding people, oh, and the young man I was pushing and shoving is a Fire department Cadet? Uh.......Fuck me sideways...
Why is it that I lived in one of the roughest neighborhoods in Las Vegas for years, and NEVER went through anything like this. Why is it, that to move into this expensive, very nice apartment complex, Carl and I went through a rigorous credit check, and had to pay a huge deposit, but now, for some reason, a girl who is completely unemployed is living above us? Why is it, that we are in a very nice, beautiful neighborhood, and we had a bunch of immature idiots coming down to our door at 11 o'clock at night with their own version of Jerry Springer, trying to fight, threaten and act like common thugs, all because they want to play house, but don't know how to act like decent human beings? This is our society? You come to a person's door, try to barge in and punch people because your dog is a nuisance to everyone around you, and your disturbing all of your neighbors, and so this is how you act? You might get arrested, go to jail, have your children taken to Child Haven, but this seemed like a great plan to you?
I think I have slept about 2 hours. They have the dog out barking right now. We have to go down to our office in about an hour, and try, again, to discuss this issue, and find out if we can be let out of the remaining months on our lease, which are 6. We will be forced to move. We have been here for almost 3 years, with no issues, but now, we will have no choice, but to move, because of them. I am really growing weary of things like this happening. It really doesn't pay to be responsible, or to try to be the good people anymore. Somehow, you are not protected. Somehow, no matter what, you still get the giant shaft.
Last night, it was approximately 11pm, and I was startled by the noise. At first, my thinking was, "why in the hell are they arguing?". See, when I had gone to lie down in the room, with all five of the pups in tow, Carl and Mark were in the living room playing Xbox and as they often do, very enthusiastically going on their killing sprees with great emotion. This is has become their bonding experience as of late, and they have seemed to found a common ground of yelling, stomping, laughing, and shooting zombies together that makes me smile. They never argue. They get along really well. Hence, my confusion as to all of the yelling that woke me.
I come out into our living room to find our front door open and all of the chaos issuing. Mark was at the door, Carl was standing directly behind him, and at the door, was our glorious neighbor from upstairs, with four of her oh so polite and as glorious counter parts, whom I am assuming she brought along for "moral support". Two girls, and two guys, all screaming with her at the top of their lungs. Trying to make sense of what was going on, I caught on pretty quickly. We have been having problems from the moment they moved in. The girl is quite young, maybe 20, with 2 small children, and her maturity level is probably at the same as her offspring. Not too sure of the other occupants of the apartment. What is confirmed is that they pretty much run around with the energy of a herd of elephants, and at times, it feels like they are going to come through our ceiling. Pounding back does no good, as they "stomp" back in some sort of game. My question has always been, "Where are they going?". The apartment is only so big, and after one or two laps, haven't you seen all there is to see? Then there is the dog...the ever barking out on the patio till all hours, never been walked EVER dog....so...after complaints to the office, after trying to talk to them, and so on, and so on....A note was placed on their door, because said dog was left out on patio, for over 24 hours, barking all of 24 hours, while neighbor was out of town. Note said specifically, "Your dog has been barking now since 5pm, and has not stopped. You never walk your poor dog, and it is freezing outside. Please take care of your dog or animal control will be called. Be considerate of your neighbors. Some of us work graveyard, or have to be up very early, and can't sleep because of the constant barking."
This was 3 days ago. Apparently, she had time to sit and plan, and plot her next move, which was to get a "posse" for back up, and wait until 11pm at night, and come to our door like common thugs.
The screaming is continuing. "Who the fuck put this note on my fucking door?"
Mark/Carl - "WE put the note on your door"
Girl-"You messed with the wrong mutha fuckin people! now what! now what!"
Carl- "Keep your dog quiet! Tell your dog to shut the fuck up!"
Girl- "Its a dog...it's a dog."
Mark-"Back up...you need to back up." (This was because they started trying to come IN OUR APARTMENT)
This is when I am getting pissed, and really fed up. I tell Mark to shut the door. The girl, who keeps yelling, and carrying on, screams at me, not sure what she said, is pushing Mark. I yell at Mark to shut the door and I am calling the police. This is when the girl SWINGS AT ME trying to hit me. Mark is in front of me, and says, "are you out of your fucking mind?"
Me-"WHO ARE YOU SWINGING AT? Mark SHUT THE DOOR!"
Girl-"Ya'll harrassin us by puttin this note on my door."
Mark- "No, see, now I'm going to give you an education. This note is what is called a warning. Now, the police are coming, and they are going to explain to you that you are now what is called the "PRIMARY AGGRESSOR, and now your all going to go to jail. So go ahead, show them this note. We did exactly what we are supposed to do in this situation. Now, you came down here, acting stupid, trying to push your way in here, making threats, your gonna go to jail."
Mark pushes me in the apartment, "Go inside Mom, go inside". I am on the phone with the dispatcher, who is listening to all of this on the phone. She won't let me hang up, because she can hear them, and knows they are trying to come in our apartment. The guy starts yelling at Carl, saying "You gotta go to work! We gonna getcha...you gotta go to work!" Carl starts yelling back, "I'm right here mother fucker, I'm right here", I push him back, shut our door. Geez us....Now, my son is out on the porch with these idiots, who, by the way, are just running their mouths and saying they are gonna get a "pump" (gun) cause apparently they are soooo tough. Really??? Really??? I open the door so the dispatcher can hear if they are still there. They are. Mark says, "See, the cops can hear every word you are saying. The guy goes upstairs. Reality hits. Carl pissed off the girl something awful, cause they are threatening that they known when we work, and are gonna mess up our trucks, break in our apartment, so he yells about her being on section 8.....
Then the cops come.
Oh, but officer, we didn't yell at them. We tried to go down and talk to them nicely. We never swung at anyone. Oh officer, I am so hurt. That awful man down there said I am on section 8. I am a poor, single mom. Oh, officer, I am so upset. They are so mean for putting this note on my door. Oh officer...what? You don't believer me? Oh officer...I am gonna get a $1100 fine? They had the entire thing on the phone with a dispatcher, and they are upstanding people, oh, and the young man I was pushing and shoving is a Fire department Cadet? Uh.......Fuck me sideways...
Why is it that I lived in one of the roughest neighborhoods in Las Vegas for years, and NEVER went through anything like this. Why is it, that to move into this expensive, very nice apartment complex, Carl and I went through a rigorous credit check, and had to pay a huge deposit, but now, for some reason, a girl who is completely unemployed is living above us? Why is it, that we are in a very nice, beautiful neighborhood, and we had a bunch of immature idiots coming down to our door at 11 o'clock at night with their own version of Jerry Springer, trying to fight, threaten and act like common thugs, all because they want to play house, but don't know how to act like decent human beings? This is our society? You come to a person's door, try to barge in and punch people because your dog is a nuisance to everyone around you, and your disturbing all of your neighbors, and so this is how you act? You might get arrested, go to jail, have your children taken to Child Haven, but this seemed like a great plan to you?
I think I have slept about 2 hours. They have the dog out barking right now. We have to go down to our office in about an hour, and try, again, to discuss this issue, and find out if we can be let out of the remaining months on our lease, which are 6. We will be forced to move. We have been here for almost 3 years, with no issues, but now, we will have no choice, but to move, because of them. I am really growing weary of things like this happening. It really doesn't pay to be responsible, or to try to be the good people anymore. Somehow, you are not protected. Somehow, no matter what, you still get the giant shaft.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
~Adventures with the Botox Zombies~
Anyone who has ever worked in the service industry knows it can drive you to drinking. Most who do this job are already alcoholics, or are severely stressed. Many polls have Food Service listed as the number one job for stress, and the number two job for depression. It's like a double whammy. A nice slap in the face then a kick in the gut, all because you need to pay your bills. Not fair really. Living in a city where tourism is the key to survival, and the most reliable job around is waiting on tables, not to mention, most consistent income, it's a pretty crappy choice that you are forced to make. Make a living, but take a chance of being a bitch in the process.
People are just plain rude. There is no way around it. For some reason, they go out in public, and they loose their minds. I guess they are out, and they figure this is their 30 minutes of power. For this brief moment, they have authority. They just forget that you are a human being, just trying to do a job, and make a living. Most don't even make eye contact anymore. The adios wave has become a standard, or the "come hither". Yeah, that one gets a wave back from me. They sit there, all confused as to why I have waved at them, with this concerned look, like, "doesn't she understand that I NEED her now? Why is she waving back? I clearly waved her over here to force her to run to my table to take care of my every need immediately!"
We have the snappers. Argh. These just really piss me off. I am NOT a cocker spaniel, yet they seem to think a snap in the air will make me run in a brisk haste, with great anticipation for the next command. "Oh, yes master, whatever can I fetch for you now?" What the hell? Don't snap your stubby fingers because you need your fourth diet coke, then go into a rant about how you are sooo thirsty. Maybe it is from all the damn diet coke, which is 45% sodium that you are sucking down. Try drinking some water asshole. While your at it, try saying please and thank you, or maybe you didn't notice how I clearly and quite loudly announced "YOUR WELCOME" every time I sat one of your multiple diet coke's in front of you, as to bring to your attention your complete lack of manners.
Here's a quick list:
1. Yes, it is going to be a problem if you all have separate checks. Most computer systems in restaurants are NOT server friendly. Most of the time, we need to ring in every separate check, SEPARATELY, which means for 8 people, 8 separate checks. Oh, kitchens just LOVE this. Also, why in the hell do you do this if there are just two of you and you are paying in cash? You cheap bastards, just figure it out.
2. Don't start a complaint with "I know this isn't your fault but...." and then rant to me about your food. All this means is that your gonna bitch to me anyway, then stiff me on the tip. I didn't cook your food. If you want it corrected, then I will be happy to get it fixed for you. Don't stiff me because a cook messed up. I rely on my tips...plus I have to split them with a busser, a runner and a bartender. I don't even get to keep them all. You stiff me, I get taxed, and have to pay out of my own pocket...all because you felt like making me pay for a mistake I didn't make. Thanks....
3. If you can't afford to tip, don't fucking go out to eat. Seriously....just stay home. Oprah can kiss my ass. NO, it is not cool to tip 10%. Break that down....Honestly. Servers work harder than anyone realizes. I spend 8 hours a day running from the moment I get there, till the moment I leave, no break. No drink, no bathroom...nothing. This is no joke. I get your drinks, I take your order, I bring your food, I get your refills, I buss the table...everything. Bussers don't even buss tables anymore. I work my ass off. If you have a $22 bill, and you leave me $2, after tipping out, I get maybe .50 of that tip. Are you kidding me? Does that seem acceptable to you? I tip better than that at Starbucks....
4. For the love of God, and all things in this world, CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!! Just have some manners. I have seen people with diamonds the size of walnuts on their hands, and they have food falling out of their mouths while they are chewing, talking, just ugh!!! Money can't buy you class.
5. Don't assume that because I am waiting on tables that you are better than me. A woman came in and had more botox in her lips than I have fat in my ass. She had so much bad surgery on her face that she looked like Frankenstien. She sat her pompus butt down, and refused to take her sunglasses off, because apparently, she "thought" she was famous. I walked over to the table, said good morning, and she promptly, rudely said to me, "Where is Ann Taylor at...oh, never mind....YOU wouldn't know." Um, WHAT? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Because I work in a restaurant, and you don't work at all, I don't know where Ann Taylor is? Who the hell do you think you are? BITCH.
6. No, we are not going to spit in your food. Just don't be rude. If you are rude, I will make sure you wait....and wait....and wait. That's all. I'm not a savage.
7. It is not our responsibility to feed your bratty kid. That's your job. If you didn't feed them, don't tell us that we HAVE to rush your order, or hurry. NO, we don't. You should be a better parent. Your food will come out when it is ready. You are not any more important than any of the other guests. It is also not our fault if you are late for a meeting, or your flight, or if you are in a hurry. You should have better time management practices. Learn to set an alarm. Get up early. Stop staying out so late. Don't come into a restaurant and try to tell a server that the must hurry your order. Yeah...not going to happen.
A man, somewhere in his late 50's came in to eat. He was with two of his friends. They sat down. They were very pleasant. Chatting away, they were laughing, looking over the menu. I came to the table, said hello. After taking their orders, I came back to the table with some condiments that they would be needing. I sat them down on the table, some of which were our butter pats. They used to be stamped with the hotel logo on them at this time. The man picked one of them up, and began looking at the logo, and seemed perplexed. I was filling the coffee cups, and after I was done, he stopped me, and this is the true story of how our conversation went.
Man, "Um, 'mam. What does A-R-I-A spell?" (Please remember, this gentleman had a very strong southern accent. Not trying to make fun, just need to imagine this as reading, for effect of story)
Me, (In disbelief) It spells Aria sir.
Man, (confused look on his face. Still staring at butter pat) What is Aria?
Me, (deep breath, thinking, are you kidding me?) It's the hotel your in sir.
Man, ...............I went to school in Oklahoma.
And, scene.
I can't make this up. This is the kind of stuff that happens to me everyday. Like the botox zombies, that insist on their egg white omlets, very dry, no oil, no butter....let me repeat. Very dry, no oil, no butter. But in the very same breath with then say, "but make sure you bring me extra butter for my wheat toast".
"I will have the two eggs, any style, with bacon."
"How do you want your eggs sir?"
"I want them cooked."
"Yes, sir, but how do you want them? Scrambled, over easy...."
"why can't I just get some eggs!!
ARGH!! Or, you say, "that comes with toast. Do you prefer white, wheat rye or sourdough?" and they answer, "I will have a banana muffin". Um, NO. That wasn't one of the choices now was it.
This may seem petty, but go through this, all day, everyday. It will make you insane. People are stupid. They don't listen. They don't pay attention. They don't read the menu. "I want quiche". We don't have quiche. But I want quiche. READ the menu.
....sometimes, I come home, and I am dizzy. I am mentally drained. I really just want no contact with any human at all. This is why we love our puppies so much. They don't want to go out to eat. Thank goodness...
People are just plain rude. There is no way around it. For some reason, they go out in public, and they loose their minds. I guess they are out, and they figure this is their 30 minutes of power. For this brief moment, they have authority. They just forget that you are a human being, just trying to do a job, and make a living. Most don't even make eye contact anymore. The adios wave has become a standard, or the "come hither". Yeah, that one gets a wave back from me. They sit there, all confused as to why I have waved at them, with this concerned look, like, "doesn't she understand that I NEED her now? Why is she waving back? I clearly waved her over here to force her to run to my table to take care of my every need immediately!"
We have the snappers. Argh. These just really piss me off. I am NOT a cocker spaniel, yet they seem to think a snap in the air will make me run in a brisk haste, with great anticipation for the next command. "Oh, yes master, whatever can I fetch for you now?" What the hell? Don't snap your stubby fingers because you need your fourth diet coke, then go into a rant about how you are sooo thirsty. Maybe it is from all the damn diet coke, which is 45% sodium that you are sucking down. Try drinking some water asshole. While your at it, try saying please and thank you, or maybe you didn't notice how I clearly and quite loudly announced "YOUR WELCOME" every time I sat one of your multiple diet coke's in front of you, as to bring to your attention your complete lack of manners.
Here's a quick list:
1. Yes, it is going to be a problem if you all have separate checks. Most computer systems in restaurants are NOT server friendly. Most of the time, we need to ring in every separate check, SEPARATELY, which means for 8 people, 8 separate checks. Oh, kitchens just LOVE this. Also, why in the hell do you do this if there are just two of you and you are paying in cash? You cheap bastards, just figure it out.
2. Don't start a complaint with "I know this isn't your fault but...." and then rant to me about your food. All this means is that your gonna bitch to me anyway, then stiff me on the tip. I didn't cook your food. If you want it corrected, then I will be happy to get it fixed for you. Don't stiff me because a cook messed up. I rely on my tips...plus I have to split them with a busser, a runner and a bartender. I don't even get to keep them all. You stiff me, I get taxed, and have to pay out of my own pocket...all because you felt like making me pay for a mistake I didn't make. Thanks....
3. If you can't afford to tip, don't fucking go out to eat. Seriously....just stay home. Oprah can kiss my ass. NO, it is not cool to tip 10%. Break that down....Honestly. Servers work harder than anyone realizes. I spend 8 hours a day running from the moment I get there, till the moment I leave, no break. No drink, no bathroom...nothing. This is no joke. I get your drinks, I take your order, I bring your food, I get your refills, I buss the table...everything. Bussers don't even buss tables anymore. I work my ass off. If you have a $22 bill, and you leave me $2, after tipping out, I get maybe .50 of that tip. Are you kidding me? Does that seem acceptable to you? I tip better than that at Starbucks....
4. For the love of God, and all things in this world, CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!! Just have some manners. I have seen people with diamonds the size of walnuts on their hands, and they have food falling out of their mouths while they are chewing, talking, just ugh!!! Money can't buy you class.
5. Don't assume that because I am waiting on tables that you are better than me. A woman came in and had more botox in her lips than I have fat in my ass. She had so much bad surgery on her face that she looked like Frankenstien. She sat her pompus butt down, and refused to take her sunglasses off, because apparently, she "thought" she was famous. I walked over to the table, said good morning, and she promptly, rudely said to me, "Where is Ann Taylor at...oh, never mind....YOU wouldn't know." Um, WHAT? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Because I work in a restaurant, and you don't work at all, I don't know where Ann Taylor is? Who the hell do you think you are? BITCH.
6. No, we are not going to spit in your food. Just don't be rude. If you are rude, I will make sure you wait....and wait....and wait. That's all. I'm not a savage.
7. It is not our responsibility to feed your bratty kid. That's your job. If you didn't feed them, don't tell us that we HAVE to rush your order, or hurry. NO, we don't. You should be a better parent. Your food will come out when it is ready. You are not any more important than any of the other guests. It is also not our fault if you are late for a meeting, or your flight, or if you are in a hurry. You should have better time management practices. Learn to set an alarm. Get up early. Stop staying out so late. Don't come into a restaurant and try to tell a server that the must hurry your order. Yeah...not going to happen.
A man, somewhere in his late 50's came in to eat. He was with two of his friends. They sat down. They were very pleasant. Chatting away, they were laughing, looking over the menu. I came to the table, said hello. After taking their orders, I came back to the table with some condiments that they would be needing. I sat them down on the table, some of which were our butter pats. They used to be stamped with the hotel logo on them at this time. The man picked one of them up, and began looking at the logo, and seemed perplexed. I was filling the coffee cups, and after I was done, he stopped me, and this is the true story of how our conversation went.
Man, "Um, 'mam. What does A-R-I-A spell?" (Please remember, this gentleman had a very strong southern accent. Not trying to make fun, just need to imagine this as reading, for effect of story)
Me, (In disbelief) It spells Aria sir.
Man, (confused look on his face. Still staring at butter pat) What is Aria?
Me, (deep breath, thinking, are you kidding me?) It's the hotel your in sir.
Man, ...............I went to school in Oklahoma.
And, scene.
I can't make this up. This is the kind of stuff that happens to me everyday. Like the botox zombies, that insist on their egg white omlets, very dry, no oil, no butter....let me repeat. Very dry, no oil, no butter. But in the very same breath with then say, "but make sure you bring me extra butter for my wheat toast".
"I will have the two eggs, any style, with bacon."
"How do you want your eggs sir?"
"I want them cooked."
"Yes, sir, but how do you want them? Scrambled, over easy...."
"why can't I just get some eggs!!
ARGH!! Or, you say, "that comes with toast. Do you prefer white, wheat rye or sourdough?" and they answer, "I will have a banana muffin". Um, NO. That wasn't one of the choices now was it.
This may seem petty, but go through this, all day, everyday. It will make you insane. People are stupid. They don't listen. They don't pay attention. They don't read the menu. "I want quiche". We don't have quiche. But I want quiche. READ the menu.
....sometimes, I come home, and I am dizzy. I am mentally drained. I really just want no contact with any human at all. This is why we love our puppies so much. They don't want to go out to eat. Thank goodness...
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