Two Cent's in your Mail

Thursday, April 28, 2011

~Catching up on things~

Haven't really had much time for blogging lately. Many things going on. Stress levels are over the top recently, and we aren't the only ones having a rough time, so I haven't felt like fussing about things was justified. Most of the time, I have completely run out of answers and solutions, and just thrown my hands in the air in utter disgust. The world is upside down right now. Not much makes sense. What was solid is shaky, what was clear is blurry....etc. Lines have been crossed, promises have been broken. Sometimes I feel like we are all being tested in every sense of the word.

Work is killing me in every single way possible. Physically, I am in pain every single moment, and not really sure how to remedy it. Taking medicine every day is really bothering me, and I have been trying to find other areas to rid myself of the pain that is there every single moment of the day. It makes it unbearable to move at times. Walking is pure hell. Sleep is non existent most nights, and that too is taking a serious toll. The stress level is over the top, and I keep trying to mentally talk myself out of it all. Fail...miserable fail.

Soon, we will be in Grand Cayman. White sand, the clearest water your mind can imagine, clear skies, and peace and serenity. Even the people are so calm. Who wouldn't be, living in such a place. I keep reminding myself how lucky we are that we will be there soon. We will be standing there, on that beach, looking out over the water, and missing our home. How ironic. Can't wait to get there, then will be saying, can't wait to get back home.

Everyone keeps asking if I am nervous about getting married. No. Not in the least. I have been married before, and I was completely against ever doing it again. Strictly against it, and made that very clear from the beginning with him. Eventually, it became clear that if I was ever meant to be married to anyone, it was this man. The comfort level is something I never had before. The peace, and the love....never had before.

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